From: Travis
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From: Chuck Shepherd
Date: Sun, Jan 11, 2009
Subject: News of the Weird, January 11, 2009
WEIRDNUZ.M092 (News of the Weird, January 11, 2009)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Freud de Melo, 73, operates a quirky tourist park in central Brazil
that features stone models of Noah's Ark and other sculptures, but
he also notoriously suffers from taphephobia, the fear of being
buried alive, and one of his sculptures is his own elaborate, fear-
assuaging crypt. His vault houses a TV and fruit pantry, has access
to fresh air, and features two built-in plastic cones that act as
megaphones to the outside, reassuring de Melo that if he is buried
too soon, he will be able to protest (as he demonstrated for a Wall
Street Journal reporter, for an October dispatch, screaming into the
countryside, "Help me! Come quick! I've been buried alive!").
(Taphephobia was more common in centuries past, afflicting
George Washington among others, because doctors often missed
lingering signs of life in sick patients.) [Wall Street Journal, 10-31-
08]
Government in Action!
* Recently, the Georgia Department of Natural Resources has been
seeking 75 volunteers to be trained in listening to frogs so that the
state can complete its annual frog survey. Georgia has 31 frog
species, each with distinctive ribbits and croaks, and surveyors,
after practicing detection, will monitor frog habitats to help
officials measure population trends. Tracking season begins this
week. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution-AP, 11-12-08]
* A Houston Chronicle investigation revealed in November that
Immigration and Customs Enforcement failed to act against 75
percent of all self-identified illegal aliens convicted of local crimes
in the Houston area recently, including immigrants who had
committed felonies ranging up to sexual assault of a child and even
capital murder. After ICE declined to hold them, that 75 percent
were simply released back into the community. Nationally, during
that same approximate time period, ICE was deporting twice as
many illegal aliens with clean records (clean, except for being
undocumented) as those with criminal rap sheets. [Houston
Chronicle, 11-16-08]
* Rats Oppressed, But Bats Live Large: Environmental activists
announced in November the intention to sue the U.S. Fish and
Wildlife Service for reducing by 80 percent the California
sanctuary area of the endangered San Bernardino kangaroo rat
(distinguishing feature: only four toes on its hind feet). In Britain,
however, the Ministry of Defense has shown great sensitivity to
bats that were living in antiquated military housing in two
Hampshire facilities. Remodeled buildings for 18,000 personnel
will include special cavities built into the structures so that the bats
can resume cohabiting with the military. [San Bernardino County
Sun, 11-14-08] [BBC News, 10-31-08]
* Robert Christianson, 64, was arrested in October upon his arrival
at Tampa International Airport, based on a hold requested by
Canadian customs officials. Christianson was being sought only
on two warrants: allowing a dog to run at large and having no
license for his dog. [Tampa Tribune, 10-13-08]
Police Report
* Indicted for cocaine possession in Montgomery County, Ohio, in
November: Mr. Dalcapone Alpaccino Morris, 20. Charged in
Columbia, S.C., in November with running down her boyfriend
with her car and breaking his leg: Ms. Princess Killingsworth.
Charged with felonious battery in Bloomington, Ind., in October:
Ms. Fellony Silas. Arrested in Carrollton, Ky., in December for
allegedly hitting a man in the face with a hammer: Mr. Jamel
Nails. Among those arrested in a drug roundup in Greenwood,
S.C., in December were people with the street names Black Pam,
Lil Bit, Goat, Ewok, and Truck Stop. [TheSmokingGun.com, 11-
18-08] [WIS-TV (Columbia), 11-24-08] [Bloomington Herald-
Times, 10-4-08] [Madison Courier (Madison, Ind.), 12-13-08] [The
Index-Journal (Greenwood), 12-8-08]
* Britain's association of police officers complained to the Daily
Telegraph in November that bureaucratic requirements are
"emasculating" law enforcement, offering as one example the
Home Affairs Department's insistence that a seven-page form be
submitted for any surveillance work, even if the "work" is merely
observing via binoculars. And in December, the Daily Telegraph
reported that 45 officers from the Lancashire county police were
assigned to help install speed indicator signs but only after being
sent to a two-hour class that included safety instructions on
climbing a three-foot ladder. Said a spokesman, "If we didn't do it,
and people were falling off ladders, we would be criticized." [Daily
Telegraph, 11-8-08] [Daily Telegraph, 12-22-08]
Fine Points of the Law
* (1) By a 2-1 vote, a Florida appeals court ruled in December that
Andrew Craissati could stop paying alimony to his ex-wife. The
couple's agreement called for alimony only until she remarried or
was "cohabit[ing]" with another person for at least three months,
and Craissati pointed out that his ex-wife, recently convicted of a
serious DUI offense, is now "cohabiting" with a cellmate in prison.
(2) In November, a judge at Killorglin District Court in Kerry,
Ireland, dismissed two DUI cases because the blood-alcohol
readings were not administered properly. The suspects should
have been isolated for 20 minutes before the test but had been
permitted to use urinals, and the judge accepted lawyers' arguments
that "steam" from the urine might have wafted into the men's noses
and raised their readings. [Palm Beach Post, 12-10-08] [Belfast
Telegraph, 12-1-08]
* More Fine Points of European Law: (1) In November, Sweden's
Social Insurance Agency stopped Jessica Andersson's disability
payments despite her lingering back pain from a work-related
accident six years ago; a doctor found that Andersson's back pain
would subside, enabling her to return to work, if only she
underwent breast-reduction surgery. (2) Germany's highest court
ruled in December in favor of a male inmate who had challenged a
prison rule barring men from purchasing skin-conditioning
products. [The Local (Stockholm), 12-3-08] [The Local (Berlin),
12-2-08]
Least Competent Criminals
* Joseph Goetz, 48, was charged with trying to rob the
Susquehanna Bank in Springettsbury Township, Pa., in November,
even though he had to leave empty-handed. The bank had just
opened for the day, and cash had not yet been delivered to tellers'
stations. Employees said that Goetz was highly irritated at having
wasted his time and that he threatened to file a "complaint" about
the bank's operations. [York Daily Record, 11-14-08]
* Benedict Harkins, 46, was charged with attempted petty larceny
in Jamestown, N.Y., in December after he had filed an insurance
claim against the Farm Fresh Market for having tripped over a rug
at the front door. Shortly after the filing, Harkins was informed
that the store's front-door surveillance camera had captured a
sequence in which he had sat down and adjusted the rug to make it
look like he had tripped. Harkins then immediately withdrew the
claim but was arrested anyway. [Buffalo News, 12-1-08]
Update
* H. Beatty Chadwick, 72, is approaching his 14th consecutive
year behind bars, though he has not been charged with a crime. In
a 1995 divorce hearing, a judge thought Chadwick was lying about
$2.5 million in assets (his wife said he was hiding them; he said he
lost them in a business deal) and locked him up for contempt of
court, and he has been there ever since. News of the Weird first
mentioned him in 2002, when he was closing in on the American
record for contempt of court, which he now holds. Chadwick has
never wavered in his story, and after an independent retired judge
investigated in 2004 and failed to find any money, Chadwick's
lawyer compared the "missing" money to Saddam Hussein's
"missing" weapons of mass destruction (and also pointed to some
Pennsylvania murderers who do less time than Chadwick has).
[Philadelphia Inquirer, 12-23-08]
A News of the Weird Classic (July 2001)
* In February in Dover-Foxcroft, Maine, Phillip Buble's father was
convicted of attempting to murder Phillip, 44, by smacking him in
the head with a crowbar because Phillip would not cease public
displays of affection with Lady, a mixed-breed dog to whom
Phillip considers himself married "in the eyes of God." The next
month, Phillip gave a 30-minute presentation to a state legislative
committee urging that it not pass a pending anti-bestiality bill
(though Phillip describes himself personally as a "zoophile" and
not a bestialist). Lady had to wait for him in the car because dogs
are not allowed in the chamber. In April, Phillip was fined $50 for
having an unlicensed dog (not Lady; it was apparently a side dog).
[Bangor Daily News, 3-27-01, 4-27-01]
Thanks This Week to Matthew Taylor, Joel Pierson, Bryce
Jackson, Richard Steckler, Sandy Pearlman, and Jordan Roberts,
and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net <http://www.weirduniverse.net/> (or
www.NewsoftheWeird.com <http://www.newsoftheweird.com/>) or
mail [email protected] / P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33629.
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