It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those  unfamiliar
with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old  Stella Liebeck
who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's
in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You  remember, she took
the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was dr
iving. Who would ever think one could get  burned doing that, right?
That's right; these are awards for the  most outlandish lawsuits and
verdicts in the U.S. You know, the  kinds of cases that make you
scratch your head. Here are the Stella's for the past year:
* SEVENTH PLACE*
Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $80,000 by  a jury of
her  peers after breaking her ankle tripping ove r a toddler who was
running  inside a furniture store. The store owners were
understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running
toddler was her own son.
Start scratching!
* SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda  Accord.
Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of  the
car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
Scratch some more...
* FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was  leaving a house
he  had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for
Dickson, the  automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could
not get the garage  door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the
house because the door  connecting the garage to the hous e locked
when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT
days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food,
he sued the homeowner's insurance  company claiming undue mental
Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the  insurance company must pay
Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all  have this kind of
anguish. There are more...
* FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the
Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being
bitten on the  butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though
the beagle was on a chain in  its owner's fenced yard. Williams did
not get as much as he  asked for because the jury believed the beagle
might have been provoked at the  time of the butt bite because
Williams had climbed over the fence into the  yard and repeatedly shot
the dog with a pellet gun.
* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a
Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she  slipped on a
spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink
was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an  argument. What ever happened to  people being
responsible for their own actions?
*SECOND PLACE*
Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in
a nearby city b ecause she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,
knocking out her two front teeth. Ev en though Ms. Walton was trying
to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50
cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her
$12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
* FIRST PLACE *
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was:  Mrs. Merv
Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma , who purchased  new 32-foot
Winnebago motor h ome. On her first trip home, from  an OU football
game,  having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at
70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Win
n ebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home
left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs.
Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that
she couldn't actually  leave the driver's seat while the cruise
control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?
$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their
manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any
relatives who might also buy a motor home.

Are we, as a society, getting more stupid....

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