I just read the I voted Democrat because... post. I thought it was pretty good! Still, as both a Moderate and a humorist, I have to offer SOME alternative. So here's a poke. Enjoy!
I voted Republican because I need the government to tell me which people I can marry and according to what religion. I voted Republican because I believe it's fine that more blue collar workers lost their homes and filed bankruptcy under Bush, than any president in history - so long as those nice Oil Company friends of his were allowed to make the largest profits in their entire history, charge us $4+ a gallon AND get a tax break greater than that of the entire population of Albany, NY. I voted Republican because I believe the party who blew the largest surplus and turned it into the largest deficit in history, when they tell me THEY are the fiscally responsible ones... I voted Republican because Freedom of speech is fine as long as old, white, Christian, heterosexual, wealthy people say it is. And I think anyone who publicly states they are against our president, is UnAmerican and should be ushered out of our borders (Rush Limbaugh, 2005). Oops, wait. That doesn't apply anymore. I voted Republican because when we went into Iraq, we were welcomed with open arms. Oh wait. Well okay, because I am stupid enough to believe that if we just stay LONG enough and spend ALL of our money rebuilding their country (since they refuse to do so), then they will love and respect us when we leave. I voted Republican because I believe that everyone should have the right to carry machine guns to football and hockey games, while they drink beer and get angry. I voted Republican because I believe that scientists paid by Big Oil would never lie about Global Warming. And while I complain about terrorists, I want to make sure we keep financing them. I voted Republican because I feel it's important the government interfere with your personal affairs and even your body. So I would really appreciate it, if after you've been raped, you would be kind enough to carry a reminder of it for nine months and then raise a child I personally am unwilling to adopt. Of course then, I will complain about the welfare. I voted Republican because I think it's deplorable that veterans, the infirmed and the elderly complain about little things like not having health care, education, and Social Security benefits. I voted Republican because I believe that big businesses should be given every possible advantage and tax break (see oil above), while small businesses and the middle class should not. I voted Republican because I believe NeoCon judges need to rewrite The Constitution so that those pesky things like the right to privacy, cruel & unusual punishment, due process etc... can be ignored by tyrant leaders. I voted Republican because I believe my own sense of morality is not good enough so I need the government to tell me theirs. Then I can be a good little sheeple, allow Big Brother to tell me my thoughts and all will be well. TaDa! Took me less than 5 minutes and every bit as vaild as the Democrat one! (I doubt they will see it that way but both are just extreme caricatures). Cheers, FS --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
