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On Dec 12, 10:45 am, Travis <[email protected]> wrote: > Bacon Babble <http://www.baconbabble.com/> > <http://fusion.google.com/add?source=atgs&feedurl=http://feeds.feedbur...> > ------------------------------ > > - Christmas Demotivators - 2009 > edition<https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&view=js&name=js&ver=GRUts-X5mqs.en...> > - Why The Chicken Crossed The Road (according to Star Wars > cast)<https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&view=js&name=js&ver=GRUts-X5mqs.en...> > - Funny Airline > Announcements<https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&view=js&name=js&ver=GRUts-X5mqs.en...> > > Christmas Demotivators - 2009 > edition<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BaconBabble/~3/MPrfLXmIN2c/?utm_source...> > > Posted: 11 Dec 2009 01:34 PM PST > > [image: > baconbabble-christmas-131]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...> > [image: > baconbabble-christmas-3]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...>[image: > baconbabble-christmas-1]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...>[image: > baconbabble-christmas-4]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...> > [image: > baconbabble-christmas-7]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...>[image: > baconbabble-christmas-12]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...>[image: > baconbabble-christmas-9]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...>[image: > baconbabble-christmas-8]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...> > [image: > baconbabble-christmas-11]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...>[image: > baconbabble-christmas-2]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...>[image: > baconbabble-christmas-10]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-chr...> > > Why The Chicken Crossed The Road (according to Star Wars > cast)<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BaconBabble/~3/NuNGyj6XJPo/?utm_source...> > > Posted: 11 Dec 2009 09:51 AM PST > > [image: star wars > chicken]<http://www.laughablelists.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/star-wars-ch...> > YODA: Crossing the road makes not a chicken great. > > VADER: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side. > > LUKE: I want to follow the ways of the chicken and cross the road like my > father. > > LEIA: I don’t know… but I have a bad feeling about this. > > HAN: Hurry up, colonel sanders, or you’re gonna be a permanent resident! > > 3 P-O: I am fluent in over six million ways of crossing the road. > > R2D2: beep beep be bop. > > CHEWIE: Gwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrlllllll! > > BEN: Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me. > > BOBA FETT: What if the chicken doesn’t survive? He’s worth a lot to me! > > WEDGE: My scope shows the other side but it looks really far, are you sure > you can cross it? > > BIGGS: At that speed, will you be able to cross in time? > > UNCLE OWEN: I told you to forget it. You’re only concern is to cross that > road. > > AUNT BERU: He can’t stay here forever. Most of his friends have already > crossed. It means so much to him. > > LANDO: Why you slimy, no good, double-crossing chicken!! You got a lot of > guts crossing that road, after what you pulled! > > EMPEROR: Young fool. Only now, after getting hit by a car do you understand. > > JABBA: Bo shuda chicken! > > Funny Airline > Announcements<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BaconBabble/~3/SDXwnrDNZ14/?utm_source...> > > Posted: 11 Dec 2009 09:45 AM PST > Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight > safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here > are some real (and some not so real) examples that have been heard or > reported: > > There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of > this airplane…” > > [image: > laughable-lists-airline]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/laughable-lists...> > After landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you > enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.” > > As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone > voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!” > > [image: > plane-announcements-funny]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/plane-announcem...> > From a Southwest Airlines employee…. “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to > YYYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and > pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know > how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. > > In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend > from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. > > If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before > assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two or more small children, > decide now which one you love more. > > Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, we’ll try > to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves > you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.” > > [image: > funny-announcements]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/funny-announcem...> > > “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead > area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting > children or adults acting like children.” > > “As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything > left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please > do not leave children or spouses.” > > “Last one off the plane must clean it.” > > And from the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some > of the best flight attendants in the industry… Unfortunately, none of them > are on this flight…!” > > [image: > engine-trouble]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/engine-trouble.jpg> > > Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake > City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a > bump and I know what ya’ll are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the > airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight > attendants’ fault…it was the asphalt!” > > Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a > particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was > really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight > Attendant came on the PA and announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to > Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the > Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!” > > An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his > ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required > the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, > and give them a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of > his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, > thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had > gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, > “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no Ma’am,” said the pilot, “what > is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?” > > After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on > with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash > and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the > gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are > silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage > to the terminal.” > > Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you > folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge > to go zipping through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll > think of us here at US Airways.” > You are subscribed to email updates from Bacon > Babble<http://www.baconbabble.com/> > To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe > now<http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailunsubscribe?k=hcF9KZ0QEosURJC42...> > . Email delivery powered by Google Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL > USA 60610
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