[image: CAP News] al Qaeda Drops 'Share Everything' Plan, Foils NSA [image: al Qaeda Drops 'Share Everything' Plan, Foils NSA] Check your local Verizon Wireless retailer for deals on all your surveillance needs!
WASHINGTON (CAP) - With fallout from the leaked National Security Administration's surveillance program continuing to grow, the U.S. again finds itself one step behind the terrorists as al Qaeda operatives drop their Verizon mobile plans and move to new carriers. "Before Edward Snowden came along, these guys used to share everything thanks to unlimited minutes - and now they're not sharing anything," said one NSA official. "Rumor has it they may be communicating in person now, although I didn't think anyone did that anymore. "Hopefully not, because none of our guys actually remember how to chase a bad guy in real life," he added. Despite losing their main source of information, intelligence officials say they have been able to keep tabs on some illicit activity thanks to their monitoring of the *Words With Terrorists* smartphone app. "It appears they're all switching over to T-Mobile in order to avoid having to sign an annual contract, which is smart when your primary objective is to blow yourself up," said the official. "al Qaeda is nothing if not cost-conscious <http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200606011>." However, the official noted that surveillance of T-Mobile has only managed to pick up half-sentences and garbled texts along with numerous dropped calls because "their coverage sucks so bad." In fact, the agency believes the U.S. is safer than ever before since T-Mobile users can't communicate grocery lists, let alone terror plans. "If al Qaeda wants to sneak past us, they should just use a land line because nobody pays any attention to those things anymore," said another official. "And if they really want to baffle us, do it with a rotary phone." SHARE [image: Facebook]<http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201307001&t=al%20Qaeda%20Drops%20'Share%20Everything'%20Plan,%20Foils%20NSA> [image: Reddit]<http://www.reddit.com/submit?url=http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201307001> [image: Google Plus] [image: Twitter]<http://twitter.com/home?status=al%20Qaeda%20Drops%20'Share%20Everything'%20Plan,%20Foils%20NSA%20-%20http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201307001> [image: StumbleUpon]<http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201307001> u.s. NEWS Cleveland Volcano Visible From Sarah Palin's House<http://www.cap-news.com/brief.php?id=201305003> Ricin Letter Sender Thinking Timing May Have Been Off<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201304009> SCOTUS Cites Facebook In Same-Sex Marriage Ruling<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201304007> Anti-Zombie Groups Fight Pitchfork Control Legislation<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201304001> Boy, 5, Tasered After Fashioning Hand Into Gun<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201303008> u.s. BRIEFS [image: \'Coffee Pots For The Poor\' Program Goes Belly Up] 'Coffee Pots For The Poor' Program Goes Belly Up NEW HAVEN, Conn. (CAP) - Over 1,100 coffee pots and countless pounds of coffee later, the city's first coffee maker exchange program for the homeless has closed down, a victim of budgeting shortfalls and shortsighted analysis of demand. Dubbed Coffee Pots For The Poor, the effort was part of The New Haven Ten Year Plan to End Chronic Homelessness by providing coffee makers and ground coffee to the city's vast homeless population in exchange for needles and other drug and alcohol paraphernalia. The program ran into roadblocks right out of the gate but soldiered on. "Homeless access to electricity is fairly limited, so in the first year we end up with a couple hundred homeless walking around the city chewing on coffee grounds because they have no way to actually brew the coffee," said a spokesperson for the United Way of Greater New Haven. "And we thought their teeth looked bad before!" IN OTHER NEWS Secretary Of State John Kerry says he left his cufflinks behind at Benjamin Netanyahu's house to try to guarantee himself an invitation back to Israel to continue peace talks. "It's an old trick from college," said Kerry. "It never really worked with the girls, but hopefully it will with Bennie." TODAY'S TOP STORIES Brain Surgery Edges Rocket Science As Most Difficult<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=200806012> Facebook Admits Breach Showed All Our Boring Crap<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201306005> Whitey Bulger Demands His Depends, Metamucil Back<http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201106011> Paula Deen: "I Would Have Freed My Slaves, Probably"<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201306004> Weekend Supermoon Really Just 'Man Of Steel' Tie-In<http://www.cap-news.com/report.php?id=201306003> [image: Fake Advertisement] CAP NEWS AUDIO Travelophogus <http://www.cap-news.com/audio.php?id=211> [image: Travelophogus] <http://www.cap-news.com/audio.php?id=211> If you're tired of always paying more for your flight but ending up next to THAT guy, book your travel through the one site guaranteed to make your trip suck less. CAUGHT ON FILM [image: @MahmoudAhmadinejad #MinusTheIranianFlag] President Ahmadinejad denies that the prototype of Iran's new fighter jet is a life-sized Lego kit that took them two weeks to piece together. FROM THE VAULT <http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200607003> July 04, 2006 TO UNSUBSCRIBE, HIT REPLY AND ASK TO BE REMOVED FROM FUTURE MAILINGS. -- -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "PoliticalForum" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.
