FWIW:

On Mon, 11 May 2020, at 21:17, Alexander Vasarab wrote:

When I send mail, it fails the first time, and then as long as I immediately resend, it succeeds (over TLS, thankfully).

I have recently come along this very same pattern when using command line tools like curl or lynx to access https. The observed pattern includes the ~10s you mentioned earlier and the fact that it's not related to versions of TLS or SSL libraries like OpenSSL.

On Tue, 12 May 2020, at 05:40, Viktor Dukhovni wrote:

Indeed the server slams the TCP socket closed after receiving the
client's RCPT command.  Unclear why.

This is also what I observed. For the record a typical curl error message

  curl: (35) OpenSSL SSL_connect: SSL_ERROR_SYSCALL in connection to server:443

Unfortunately, I haven't yet come along a server where I felt comfortable testing the heck of this out of it. Plus, the servers where I have observed it did not show the same behavior over the course of my attempts at debugging it (several hours). So, yes, very unclear what and why.

One admin I contacted suspected that their provider was trying to mitigate DOS attacks. But that's too vague an explanation for my taste.

--
-- Andreas

     :-)

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