>
>
> I am trying to debug it by connecting directly to port 25 on localhost
> using telnet and composing mail that way.  It appears to be sent
> according to the postfix mail.log but it just disappears.
>
It could be that it went to spam because you misused some headers while
sending mail manually

Try to use mail from mailutils or some other tool.

Also, try to send email here: https://www.mail-tester.com/ and see how much
score do you have

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