I love this Doctor.  

Q. I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your
heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them
on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend thelife of 
your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. 


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You
must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that 
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the 
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you 
have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise 
program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..
Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated
in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? 
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only 
be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best 
feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. 

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food 
and diets. 


      

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