http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1§ion=0&article=63764&d=15&m=5&y=2005
Sunday, 15, May, 2005 (06, Rabi` al-Thani, 1426)
Sexual Assaults Leave Their Mark on Victims
Lulwa Shalhoub & Razan Baker, Arab News
JEDDAH, 15 May 2005 - Rape is an ugly crime. For a young girl
being forced into sexual relations must be about as close as you can get to
hell on earth. The only way it could be worse would be if the rapist was a
brother or an uncle - or even a father.
The tragic truth, however, is that dozens of such crimes
occurred last year in Jeddah alone. The male relatives may get prison terms,
but for the young sisters, daughters or nieces, they get emotional scars that
can burden them for the rest of their lives.
According to an official source from the Social Services
Department, last year witnessed 50 rape cases. Thirty-two of them were
committed by male relatives - fathers, brothers and uncles. Female family
members became victims of sexual abuse committed by their male guardians, many
of them alcoholics or drug addicts.
Sociologist Wafa Al-Saadi told Arab News about some of these
cases and the tragedies they bring.
A middle-aged father of four daughters between the ages of 12
and 18 was involved in one of the cases of sexual abuse.
"He and his family were living a peaceful life until he
became suspicious about the faithfulness of his wife," Al-Saadi said. "He
started receiving phone calls and letters from strangers concerning his wife's
affairs. She used to drug him to sleep before she snuck out for her rendezvous
that resulted in his addiction to drugs. He even started suspecting the
legitimacy of his daughters as his own. He took revenge on his wife by sexually
abusing his daughters."
He abused them all the day long continually one after the
other. He left them alone only at bedtime. The eldest who was 18 years old
underwent abortions twice after she became pregnant from her father. When the
mother notified the authorities about him, he was arrested, tried and sentenced
him to jail for five years.
"Five years are not enough for such a crime," Al-Saadi said.
"I think they deserve execution. If death was his punishment, maybe the girls
could get back to their normal lives and recover from their pain. But as long
as he is still alive and his daughters will see him, they will remember their
misery and it won't be easy to get over it."
The father's family is requesting a DNA test to determine
whether the girls are his daughters or not.
However, his wife is refusing to do so.
"It shouldn't be that people committing these kinds of crimes
should have such slight punishments," said one Saudi lawyer. "The punishment
should be harsher varying according to the judge's point of view from one case
to another."
Fatima, 17, endured her father's sexual molestations for so
long that she lost her moral compass and no longer felt it to be wrong. She
even felt jealous of her mother and possessive of her father. "The daughter
became jealous of her mother, and when her mother informed the authorities and
the father was sent for treatment, feelings of anguish overwhelmed her,"
Al-Saadi said. "The father was punished, and the daughter was married to her
cousin. Her marriage didn't even last a month because she was used to her
father's ways, and she said her new husband was different. When I suggested to
Fatima that she tell her husband her likes and dislikes, she commented, 'Let
him ask my father.'"
Sexual abuse also includes the harassment of youngsters under
the age of six. Being mistreated, tortured and sexually abused in his
childhood, Hassan, a father of a three-year-old daughter, repeated the behavior
he endured as a child making his daughter the victim. When he was a kid, his
father used to hang him to the wall and sexually abuse him. As abuse breeds
abuse, Hassan used his three-year-old daughter for satisfaction after various
tortures. He poured boiling tea over her finger claiming that her finger will
sweeten the taste of the tea. He would seat his daughter on his lap and abuse
her. When his wife drew his attention to the abnormality of the situation, he
would tell her, "Whenever you see me doing so, take the girl off me." He sensed
that he had a problem. Hoping for a change, the wife kept her mouth shut until
she could no longer handle it and called the authorities for help. According to
one source, Hassan went for psychological treatment. The wife and daughter now
live in a separate place, and the wife has sole custody of her daughter.
In addition to the emotional and psychological harm, rape
leaves the young girls physically damaged, as well.
"A mother came to me once with her five-year-old daughter to
examine her. It was obvious that she had a severe genital infection. Her mother
told me the girl's stepbrother sexually abused her," said a gynecologist who
requested anonymity. "After that I heard that the husband reacted negatively
when his wife told him about the abuse and he threatened her with divorce if
she spoke about it again."
Another case mentioned by a sociologist is about a girl who
was raped by her uncle. Consequently she hates men and she even refuses to
leave her house. When she was dragged forcefully to see a sociologist, she hit
the taxi driver just because he is a man.
"Women living with relatives suffering from this abusive
behavior should consider seeking professional help before it is too late," said
one psychologist commenting on this case. "A higher authority should intervene
in order to prevent abusers from escalating these problems, and to prevent the
suffering of the victims. They get treated psychologically afterward until they
recover."
Anger and hostility are normal responses.
"As for abused females, most of them turn hostile about any
interaction with males. They will even refuse getting involved in relationships
with the opposite sex until they have crossed the point of no return where and
when it becomes nearly impossible to have any relationship at all."
It is a situation that can be prevented if family members
keep an eye out for aberrant behavior.
"I really feel sorry for the male guardians who are supposed
to be the protectors of their female relatives, turn out to be the violators of
home safety," said Amani Rashid, a mother of two daughters. "We should be more
alert to any suspicious behaviors coming from these so-called protectors and
spread more awareness."
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