Friday, 5, May, 2006 (07, Rabi` al-Thani, 1427)
These Things Happen, You Know'
Lubna Hussain, [EMAIL PROTECTED]
One of my friends, a Saudi, announced that he was leaving the country. I must say I was a little taken aback by his sudden plans for departure because he was very successful, from a merchant family and appeared to have a bright future ahead of him.
"But I thought you loved it here?" I asked amazed at his decision.
"I did," he replied sounding unconvinced by his own admission.
"Well then," I said, "you're being stupid. I think you're too idealistic about what life in America is all about. And besides, you could do so well in your own country and supporting your own people."
He sniggered at my optimism and finally apprised me of what it was that had made such a move essential.
"Lubna," he began, "ever since I got married things haven't been the same."
I found this odd as he had tied the knot with the love of his life. They had met at university in the States and his wife was a smart beautiful Oriental woman whose uncle was the president of a Far Eastern country.
"Oh," I sympathized. "These things happen, you know."
"No. You have misunderstood. I am extremely happy. But I am just sick to death of the way we are treated as a couple. Whenever we go out, people here instinctively assume that I am with my servant! In restaurants they have attempted to seat her at a different table to the rest of us. I don't need to tell you how some people here are accustomed to bringing their maids and drivers to dinner as glamorous accessories and then shoving them into a corner because they are not fit to share the same space as them.
"At the immigration she is always treated like a domestic helper and they love to question her rudely and act as if the status on her visa is a mistake. I mean how can someone with Oriental features aspire to the heights of marrying a Saudi? Surely they have given the maid the wrong visa? This kind of blatant disrespect is incredible.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you some of the stories. At a family wedding my wife was not even allowed into the main hall and ended up sitting in the section with the maids until one of my sisters went to fetch her. I am just finished dealing with this sort of rampant humiliation. Worse still, people aren't even embarrassed by their derogatory behavior. They look at me as if I have issues. As if it's fair game to treat my wife badly because she is Oriental. Even members of my own family treat her with a sort of indifference and find her presence hard to swallow."
"That's weird," I said, "because your brother is married to a foreigner. It's not exactly new to the system then is it?" I commented.
"Yes, but she is a pure white American. Come off it, Lubna. Whether you like it or not, a Katie from the great US of A is any day more preferable to any woman regardless if she happens to be from one of the top families of Asia," he retorted in disgust.
This made me think about how judgmental our society is and how terribly ill-equipped we are to judge. We seem to think that our oil wealth and subsequent nouveau riche status gives us some sort of divine right to treat certain categories of people with unconcealed disdain. Because we happen to be blessed with a huge expatriate community among us who have been drafted in to do the work we think is beneath us, we automatically assume that everyone from India, the Philippines, Sri Lanka or Bangladesh is work for hire. We seem to think that back home in their countries there is an entire absence of social class. What is the need for one after all when these countries only augment their populations to serve us? These are worker countries. They exist to produce maids, drivers and garbage collectors for our great nation. How on earth then can we reconcile ourselves to the fact that there might actually even be rich people who dwell in these places? That such countries might have such redundant citizens as intellectuals, businessmen and academics that thrive within them? Impossible!
The whole sorry irony of all this is the fact that we are sadly not educated enough to recognize these great civilizations for what they are or for what they contribute to the world. Countries in the Far East that were destroyed in World War II have rebuilt themselves into being the envy of the Western world. Through sheer determination and innovation they have gone from having no infrastructure to becoming the most globally advanced. All of this achieved with little or no natural resources. And yet, we churn out the oil with a self-prescribed right to sit in judgment upon everyone else.
I still fail to understand how we can persist in being so superficial. How we can judge people with such pathetically short-sighted indicators. I think that it's bad enough that my friend's wife was treated like a maid, but what is even worse is that maids should be treated so contemptuously in the first place. At least he has the ability to transport his wife away from the absurd treatment of certain elements of this society. I wonder what it must be like to be left with no such option.
And in the final analysis, we may think that when we judge people according to what we think is their social status we are definitely mistaken. For to judge them in such a manner with such shallow criteria does nothing more than to amply demonstrate how we lack class ourselves.
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(Lubna Hussain is a Saudi writer. She is based in Riyadh.)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Berdikusi dg Santun & Elegan, dg Semangat Persahabatan. Menuju Indonesia yg Lebih Baik, in Commonality & Shared Destiny. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ppiindia
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