http://www.guardianweekly.co.uk/?page=editorial&id=1142&catID=9&DCMP=EMC-E_EMS_GWE_REG_09_07_03
Monday June 29th 2009 Quiet and shy, Leila is dressed in full-length white overalls to meet the hygiene standards of the nursery where she is working in Casablanca, Morocco. One of the babies she works with is her own. At the age of 27, she gave birth to her son out of wedlock. Shunned by her partner and fearing retribution from her family, she fled her home. This is her story . Comment on this article Monday June 29th 2009 Leila and her baby. Photograph: Rowenna Davis I grew up in El Jadida, a small town about an hour out of Casablanca. When I was ten years old, I moved to the city to find a job. From the age of ten to 21 I worked as a maid, moving from one rich Moroccan family to another. Sometimes I was well treated, sometimes I was not. During this time I never went to school. I still cannot read or write. Sometimes I felt very uneasy, but I knew my family was very poor so I had no choice. In my family back home I was one of seven children - I was never alone - but in Casablanca I had no one. The only friends I had were in other cities. When my older sister married, she moved to Casablanca and asked me to come and live with her. I got a new job working in a factory making jeans, and worked very hard there for over a year. On my way to work I passed a garage. I met a guy who was working there, and I passed him every day. I fell completely in love with him. I'd never had any kind of sex education, so I didn't really know anything about the consequences of what we were doing. Then one day I discovered I was pregnant. In the past my boyfriend said that he was going to marry me, but when he found out about the baby he said his family wouldn't agree. His family is Berber, and they wanted me to speak Berber too, but I didn't. So he gave me up. I tried to convince him not to leave, but he just got angry. He threatened to take the baby away if I had it and if I stayed in Casablanca. It's shameful to keep a baby outside of marriage. It's tradition. My sister didn't find out I was pregnant because I left. I was so scared of shaming her and my family; I was scared of what they might think. I was totally alone. The only thing I could think of to do was contact one of the old families I used to be a maid for. They couldn't help me directly, but they gave me a contact of an organisation that helps pregnant women. I was very happy to find this association. I can't feed my baby myself, so I need the association to give my son milk. There are very few shelters like this, and they are all run out of charity. The government does offer some help to women like me but it is difficult because it is so unpopular. Many women are not as lucky as me. There are many orphans in Morocco because so many women feel like they have no choice but to abandon their children. Women in my situation and their children are not treated well. Some of the women in this shelter have been threatened with knives. Many are not well nourished and do not have a doctor to help them deliver their baby. Some married families here don't want their children to go to school with abandoned children because they are "unpure". My son Akhram is now four months old. I love him very much. All the women here want to do shifts in the nursery rather than cooking, cleaning or even learning to read or write in the centre so they can be closer to their children, but I'm the worst. As for Akhram's father, I still hope that one day he will marry me. I don't want my son to grow up without a dad. I wonder what will happen when my son starts asking questions that I can't answer. I worry that some people might not like my son because he does not have a father. I feel better now that I've talked. I feel like I've been listened to. Things are getting better, and I have hopes for the future. I have started employment training, and I want to go back to work in a factory. Recently I spoke to my sister for the first time in a long while. She has accepted what has happened. One day I may even bring my son to see her. Leila was speaking to Rowenna Davis. The shelter was run by SOS Children's Villages Morocco. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
