Andy is the only funny liberal on the planet. --- Bob Calco <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> www.borowitzreport.com > > ! ANGELINA JOLIE, BONO SIGN MIDEAST PEACE ACCORD > ! > ! > ! Israel, Hezbollah Not Consulted > ! > ! > ! Hopes for a lasting peace in the Middle East were > raised > ! today when a comprehensive Mideast peace accord > was signed by > ! Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie and Bono, the > lead singer of > ! the rock band U2. > ! > ! Just hours after Secretary of State Condoleezza > Rice made a > ! surprise visit to Beirut to confer with Lebanese > officials, > ! Dr. Rice found that her efforts were largely > upstaged by the > ! high-wattage amateur diplomacy of the two global > superstars. > ! > ! "When I saw the conflict in the Middle East > spiraling out of > ! control, I recognized that there were only two > parties who > ! could sit down at a negotiating table and bring > peace to the > ! region," Ms. Jolie told reporters today at a press > conference > ! in Jerusalem. "And those two parties were me and > Bono." > ! > ! After reaching out to Bono to make her historic > offer of a > ! lasting peace, Ms. Jolie dropped off her infant > child Shiloh > ! Jolie-Pitt with a babysitter in Namibia and jetted > for the > ! Middle East. > ! > ! But even as Ms. Jolie and Bono signed their > landmark Mideast > ! peace accord, representatives from both Israel and > Hezbollah > ! complained that neither of them had been consulted > "at all" > ! about the terms of the agreement. > ! > ! "That's true, we did not consult them," Ms. Jolie > told > ! reporters. "We thought long and hard about it, > and Bono and > ! I came to the conclusion that Israel and Hezbollah > would only > ! screw things up." > ! > ! Elsewhere, hospitalized due to his hunger strike, > former > ! Iraqi president Saddam Hussein demanded that > doctors remove > ! his feeding tube because it was interfering with > his ability > ! to make incoherent anti-American outbursts. > ! > ! > ! www.borowitzreport.com > ! > ! Waste Someone's Time: Forward to a Friend: > ! > http://mcsv.net/cgi-bin/redir?MCid=paChkBlZ32dPsHo33KbY&email= > ! [EMAIL PROTECTED]&rec=6547 > ! > ! > ! Sign up today for your own Borowitz Reports, click > the link > ! below or paste it into your browser. > ! > ! > http://mcsv.net/cgi-bin/redir?MCid=7v4O82FSfQdPsHo33KbY > ! > ! > > > > _______________________________________________ > Post Messages to: [email protected] > Subscription Maintenance: > http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profox > OT-free version of this list: > http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profoxtech > ** All postings, unless explicitly stated otherwise, > are the opinions of the author, and do not > constitute legal or medical advice. This statement > is added to the messages for those lawyers who are > too stupid to see the obvious. > Right Wing Stuff at http://www.cafepress.com/rightwingmike Horse Racing Photos at http://www.HorseRacingPix.com _______________________________________________ Post Messages to: [email protected] Subscription Maintenance: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profox OT-free version of this list: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profoxtech ** All postings, unless explicitly stated otherwise, are the opinions of the author, and do not constitute legal or medical advice. This statement is added to the messages for those lawyers who are too stupid to see the obvious.
