He didn't mention circumcism, which would surely be required. This guy is going to take it up the ass for a while.
--- Bob Calco <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Another Andy Borowitz classic... > > - - - > August 2, 2006 > > Gibson Converts to Judaism > > Changes Name to Mel Gibstein > > > In his boldest bid yet to apologize to the Jewish > community, actor Mel > Gibson today announced that he had converted to > Judaism. > > The news took many Jews aback, since conversion to > Judaism is a > demanding process that can take months or even years > of study, and Mr. > Gibson accomplished the feat in a record time of > forty-five minutes. > > But a spokesman for the "Lethal Weapon" star > explained how Mr. Gibson > pulled off his lightning-fast conversion: "This is > Hollywood -- a lot > of things can be done by special effects." > > Moments after his conversion to Judaism, Mr. Gibson > paid a visit to > the registrar's office in Los Angeles County and had > his name legally > changed to "Mel Gibstein" in a show of commitment to > his new chosen > faith. > > Then it was off to Malibu, where the 50-year old > actor was bar > mitzvahed on the beach in a small, private ceremony. > > "Today, I am a man," Mr. Gibstein said before a > gathering of friends > and well-wishers from the local watering hole > Moonshadows. "A Jew > man!" > > Mr. Gibstein, whose Lexus LS sedan now sports a > license plate reading > "LCHAIM," said that he was "thoroughly enjoying > being a Jew" and vowed > to only shop wholesale from now on. > > The actor added he would begin production of a new > film, "Mad Matzoh > Beyond Thundershalom," as soon as he kicks his > drinking problem. > > "I am really committed to reheeb," he said. "I mean > rehab." > > Elsewhere, President Bush's annual physical exam > revealed that he lost > five pounds in the last year, and seventeen approval > points. > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Post Messages to: [email protected] > Subscription Maintenance: > http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profox > OT-free version of this list: > http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profoxtech > ** All postings, unless explicitly stated otherwise, > are the opinions of the author, and do not > constitute legal or medical advice. This statement > is added to the messages for those lawyers who are > too stupid to see the obvious. > _______________________________________________ Post Messages to: [email protected] Subscription Maintenance: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profox OT-free version of this list: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profoxtech ** All postings, unless explicitly stated otherwise, are the opinions of the author, and do not constitute legal or medical advice. This statement is added to the messages for those lawyers who are too stupid to see the obvious.
