AHHHHHHHHHH nevermind
http://www.snopes.com/autos/dream/jato.asp --- Michael Madigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > The Darwin Awards > > It's that time again... The Darwin Awards are > finally > out, the annual > honor > given to the persons who did the gene pool the > biggest > service by killing > > themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. > > Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by > a > Coke machine which > toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to > tip > a free soda out. > This year's winner was a real rocket scientist... > HONEST! Read on...And > remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE > STORY. > > And the nominees were: > > Semifinalist #1 A young Canadian man, searching for > a > way of getting > drunk > cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy > alcohol, mixed > gasoline > with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made > him > ill, and he vomited > into the fireplace in his house. This resulting > explosion and fire burned > > his house down, killing both him and his sister. > > Semifinalist #2 Three Brazilian men were flying in a > light aircraft at > low > altitude when another plane approached. It appears > that they decided to > moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost > control of their own > aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in > the > wreckage with > their pants around their ankles. > > Semifinalist #3 A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was > found dead after he > tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a > 70-foot rail road > trestle. > Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food > worker, taped a bunch > > of these straps together, wrapped and end around one > foot, anchored the > other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, > jumped > and hit the > pavement. > Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said > investigators think Barcia > was > alone because his car was found nearby. "The length > of > the cord that he > had > assembled was greater than the distance between the > trestle and the > ground," > Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of > death was "Major > trauma." > > Semifinalist #4 A man in Alabama died from > rattlesnake > bites. It seems > that > he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using > the rattlesnake as a > ball. > The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards > candidate > - was > hospitalized. > > Semifinalist #5 Employees in a medium-sized > warehouse > in west Texas > noticed > the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management > evacuated the building > extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; > lights, power, etc. > After > the building had been evacuated, two technicians > from > the gas company > were > dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found > they had difficulty > navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none > of > the lights worked. > Witnesses later described the sight of one of the > technicians reaching > into > his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a > cigarette lighter. > Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas > in > the warehouse > exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles > away. > Nothing was found > of > the technicians, but the lighter was virtually > untouched by the > explosion. > The technician suspected of causing the blast had > never been thought of > as > ''bright'' by his peers. > > Now ladies and gentleman, the winner of this year's > Darwin Award > (awarded, > as always, posthumously) : > > The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of > smoldering metal embedded > in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the > apex of a curve. The > wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, > but > it was a car. The > type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police > investigators finally > > pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket > scientist... had somehow > gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, > actually a solid fuel > rocket) > that is used to give heavy military transport planes > an extra "push" for > taking > off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy > Impala out into the > desert > and found a long, straight stretch of road. He > attached the JATO unit to > the > car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the > JATO! > > The facts as best as could be determined are that > the > operator of the > 1967 > Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of > approximately 3.0 miles > from > the crash site. This was established by the scorched > and melted asphalt > at that location. > > The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached > maximum thrust within > 5 > seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in > excess of 350 mph and > continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 > seconds. The driver, and > > soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces > usually reserved for > dog > fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing > him to become > irrelevant for the remainder of the event. However, > the automobile > remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles > (15-20 seconds) > before > re the driver applied and completely melted the > brakes, blowing the tires > > and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, > then becoming > airborne > for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff > face at a height of > 125 > feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the > === message truncated === _______________________________________________ Post Messages to: [email protected] Subscription Maintenance: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profox OT-free version of this list: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profoxtech ** All postings, unless explicitly stated otherwise, are the opinions of the author, and do not constitute legal or medical advice. This statement is added to the messages for those lawyers who are too stupid to see the obvious.
