Mike, I commensurate with your situation in some ways. I've been a single parent with 3 children since 1986, and I'm self-employed with a FoxPro application.
Despite a life-long drive and early experience in self-employment, I decided to go the employment route for the sake of the kids. Because I worked with IBM assembler, I was lucky to get work as a systems programmer in that career's heyday, so I landed some pretty good jobs, finally with IBM (Prodigy, actually, which IBM owned and managed the DP side), and that lasted about 9 years until they sold the company and I got the 'package'. At that time, I had a house and enough saved to return to self-employment, so that's what I did, in 1996. Turned out to be much more difficult then I expected, because after several years developing with FPD, I had to basically throw it all away and start again with VFP. I didn't mind as much at the time because VFP really was so much better, but it seriously hurt the bottom line, taking another bunch of years just to get back to the point of having something to sell (now). All together, it's been 11 years, half of it thrown away, and all of it on my dime. Anyway, one at a time, the kids took up their own lives, and even though it has been really hard financially, I've been able to wangle a living since. In fact, they and my family have helped me, so I guess what goes around comes around - the karma thing <s>. There are similarities and some differences between us. For what it's worth, some thoughts - if you somehow wind up with custody of the kids, for their sake I'd pretty much have to recommend the same thing I did, and get a 'good' job somehow. - if no custody (as it appears), and you have the drive for self-employment (as it appears), I would say to do that. Hopefully you wouldn't have too many tough times, but even if you do, bear in mind that she is carrying the weight for providing food, shelter, etc., and will have to do that or give up the kids (presumably to you; which could then force you to reconsider the job approach). This is bottom line, tough stuff, I know, but the court recognizes they can't get blood out of a stone, and nobody if going to put you in jail because you couldn't make money. That's looking at the worst case scenario, which hopefully never happens. In my case, I had to go through some real hard times, but I did get custody and she was mostly gone (and never paid a nickel, but that was okay, just to get rid of her; a charlatan and drug addict I just didn't see coming). - in any case, I'd stay geographically close to the kids. Sounds like you have a bond with them ( not all parents do), and that being the case, they just get more and more precious over time. To succeed in the software business, the basic 'formula' I'm following is to partner up with a niche business, create a satisfactory solution to that business's requirements, and then multiply that success by selling it to others in the same business. We all know it's not exactly that simple, because real software and real business are minefields. Software is always changing, and people can be very difficult to deal with. For software, I'm sticking with FoxPro as the core dev system, because I've got my fortune invested in it, and I do believe that MS will have no choice but to make provision for it's continuity, somehow, and that will give us 10-20 years of sailing with the product. By that time, nobody knows what the landscape will look like, but I'm confident that at the very least we'll have some good choices - and customer bases that will work with us to bridge gaps. Having said that, in addition to FoxPro, I am also getting involved with PHP and MySQL (via Joomla) for some web stuff, but it's, so far, just slapping components together and doesn't touch or supplant the core FoxPro product, it just extends the scope of the proposition. Just to mention, I think Ed and Paul are onto something really good with Dabo, but speaking for myself, frankly, I just don't have the brainpower, money or time to even consider an alternative core dev system and yet another re-write. I've made my bed, so to speak. One thing about software dev that I can't emphasize enough: I document *everything* in RoboHelp CHM files. Again, I just don't have the brainpower to store it all in my head, so when I work it's with two screens up. For marketing, the hardest part of all, being a 'systems person', I've put together the mechanics (basic marketing plan; price list and prices brochure; license agreement; invitations to an Internet based demo (in e-mail, postcard and telephone format); and a prospects database/application that I've primed with a few hundred records). In short, I've reduced the proposition to one remaining, missing ingredient: the person who will send the postcards, e-mails and make the phone calls (the "cold call" part). For the demo, I've tested using VNC and Crossloop (the latter being the easiest because there's no router setup required on the prospects side). With a few successful demos under my belt, I'm satisfied I can take it from the point of "interested prospect who wants a demo" to the sale. For the 'missing ingredient' part, the 'cold-caller', I'm willing to pay a 25% commission on the sale, with no residuals (renewals or custom work). My worksheet says that person will make some good money, but no gold mine - I get that because I've worked hard and long for it and deserve it. Note that I've bypassed a key part of what 'smart' people say: be profitable from day 1. I couldn't find a way to do that without compromising ownership/control of the business, so I 'bulled' my way through that part (at great personal sacrifice). Oh, a mention regarding being a single parent: I couldn't find a new spouse. Every time I met what I thought was a good candidate, she would disappear when I told her I had 3 kids, even though I had a house and good income at the time. Just the way it was. If you do wind up with the kids, I hope you have better luck (or perhaps lower expectations <g>). Bill > lol! Well, let's just say that her lawyer was shocked by my Social > Security numbers and said "Mr. Babcock, I don't get it. You > made well > over $50,000 for all of these years and then it says you only made > $13,000." To which my lawyer promptly and accurately > replied: "Yeah, > that's because he started his own business." The lesson I've > learned: > I'm obviously not in this for the money, because I made a > HELL of a lot > more as an employee...every time. The thing that's kept me > down (income > wise) has been geographic location to a major extent, and now > that I'm > divorcing, that may change. Still, I may still choose to be > "stuck" in > this for awhile as I don't want to leave my kids. I don't > want my son > to remember Dad as someone who left him to make more money > elsewhere. > That's not worth ANY amount of money to me. > > On that note: I wish I could find one of those telecommute > gigs like I > hear some folks do. You'd think that in this day and age, > telecommute > jobs would be much more abundant, but then again, most > non-IT-tech-savvy > employers don't trust us unless they can actually see us at a desk. > Hell, even my long time employer who completely trusted me (or so I > thought) made some shit comment about that when I had asked to > telecommute. That was back in 2002. I doubt things have > changed much > in their mentality and those like them. > > Then again, I'm a VFP developer (with Oracle/SQL Server/MySQL/SQL > experience), and a pretty good one imo, but that doesn't really mean > much in this day and age, as VFP isn't the popular tool, and > we all know > that. I got my hopes up years ago when Ken Levy said he'd preach to > those OUTSIDE the choir, only to be let down. I've been cynical for > some time because of the IT downturn and VFP downturn in > particular and > now the divorce....well, that's why I started my own company back in > 2003. I was determined to find a way to be happy. We all > have to! Now > if I could just get my personal life turned around.... _______________________________________________ Post Messages to: [email protected] Subscription Maintenance: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profox OT-free version of this list: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profoxtech Searchable Archive: http://leafe.com/archives/search/profox This message: http://leafe.com/archives/byMID/profox/[EMAIL PROTECTED] ** All postings, unless explicitly stated otherwise, are the opinions of the author, and do not constitute legal or medical advice. This statement is added to the messages for those lawyers who are too stupid to see the obvious.
