Ed Leafe wrote: > To be a Republican you need to believe: > > 1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary > Clinton. > > 2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's > Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, > and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion. > > 3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but > trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international > harmony. > 4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and > our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against > Iraq. > > 5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but > multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all > mankind without regulation. > > 6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in > speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay. > > 7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex. > > 8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, > then demand their cooperation and money. > > 9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing > health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance > companies have the best interests of the public at heart. > > 10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but > creationism should be taught in schools. > > 11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable > offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which > thousands die is solid defense policy. > > 12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the > Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the > Internet. > > 13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but > George Bush's driving record is none of our business. > > 14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're > a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our > prayers for your recovery. > > 15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, > who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.) > > 16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national > interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant. > > 17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for > wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail. >
Superb! _______________________________________________ Post Messages to: [email protected] Subscription Maintenance: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profox OT-free version of this list: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profoxtech Searchable Archive: http://leafe.com/archives/search/profox This message: http://leafe.com/archives/byMID/profox/[EMAIL PROTECTED] ** All postings, unless explicitly stated otherwise, are the opinions of the author, and do not constitute legal or medical advice. This statement is added to the messages for those lawyers who are too stupid to see the obvious.
