1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room. 2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
3. Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. 4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself. 5. Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal. 6. Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick(). 7. Chuck Norris's first program was kill -9. 8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble. 9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue. 10. MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it). 11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions...and have them return. 12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move. 13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object. 14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft. 15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations...ever. 16. Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him. 17. "It works on my machine" always holds true for Chuck Norris. 18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way. 19. Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts. 20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 21. Chuck Norris's beard can type 140 wpm. 22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert. 23. Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing. 24. Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris. 25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?". 26. Chuck Norris' keyboard has 2 keys: 0 and 1. 27. Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class. 28. Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces. 29. Chuck Norris can divide by zero 30. Chuck Norris doesn't get compiler errors, the language changes itself to accommodate CN 31. All Starbucks baristas know Java in fear that one day Chuck Norris walks in and demands it. 32. Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once. 33. The programs that Chuck Norris writes don't have version numbers because he only writes them once. If a user reports a bug or has a feature request they don't live to see the sun set. 34. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in floating point numbers because they can't be typed on his binary keyboard. 35. Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission. 36. Steve Jobs medical condition is Chuck Norris. 37. Chuck Norris can inherit from sealed/final classes. 38. Visual SourceSafe actually works for Chuck Norris. --- StripMime Report -- processed MIME parts --- multipart/alternative text/plain (text body -- kept) text/html --- _______________________________________________ Post Messages to: [email protected] Subscription Maintenance: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profox OT-free version of this list: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profoxtech Searchable Archive: http://leafe.com/archives/search/profox This message: http://leafe.com/archives/byMID/profox/[email protected] ** All postings, unless explicitly stated otherwise, are the opinions of the author, and do not constitute legal or medical advice. This statement is added to the messages for those lawyers who are too stupid to see the obvious.
