kemaren, nggak ada angin, nggak ada petir, nggak ada
hujan, tiba-tiba dapet sms dari presiden.  wah, gua
kaget banget, asli kaget banget!  apalagi udah
kedengeran santer akan ada reshuffle kabinet.

jebul, ternyata sms tentang narkoba.  gua udah mau
ngacir aja dah kalo akan sampe terjadi sesuatu
"hil-hil yang mustahal".  he..he..he..

yah...sekedar membantu presiden dalam memberantas
narkoba, kebetulan ada artikel tentang perjalanan
hidup seorang pecandu narkoba.

awal tahun 70-an 'flower generation' sedang berkembang
marak di jakarta.  anak muda menteng dan kebayoran
pada bikin geng, disco, seperti mrindink, mad lod, dan
banyak lagi.  ada juga anak muda yang lebih kreatif,
biasanya bikin radio amatir gelap seperti maracan,
dll.  

pada saat itu narkoba yang beredar adalah morfin,
heroin, acid, dan tentu saja 'herbal lokal', alias
ganja.  ilham adalah salah seorang pecandu dari jaman
flower generation yang perjalanan hidupnya penuh
lika-liku karena berhubungan dengan narkoba.

karena biasanya anak muda jaman itu demen blues, maka
silahkan baca kisah ilham sambil dengerin lagu ini.


In My Time Of Dying
by Led Zeppelin (Bonham/Jones/Page/Plant)


In my time of dying, want nobody to mourn 
All I want for you to do is take my body home 

Well, well, well, so I can die easy (X2) 

Jesus, gonna make up my dyin' bed. 
Meet me, Jesus, meet me. 
Meet me in the middle of the air 
If my wings should fail me, Lord. 
Please meet me with another pair 

Well, well, well, so I can die easy (X2) 

Jesus, gonna make up.. somebody, somebody... 
Jesus gonna make up... 
Jesus gonna make you my dyin' bed 

Oh, Saint Peter, at the gates of heaven... 
Won't you let me in 
I never did no harm. I never did no wrong 

Oh, Gabriel, let me blow your horn. 
Let me blow your horn 
Oh, I never did, did no harm. 

I've only been this young once. 
I never thought I'd do anybody no wrong 
No, not once. 

Oh, I did somebody some good. 
Somebody some good... 
Oh, did somebody some good. 
I must have did somebody some good...

And I see them in the streets 
And I see them in the field 
And I hear them shouting under my feet 
And I know it's got to be real 
Oh, Lord, deliver me 
All the wrong I've done 
You can deliver me, Lord 
I only wanted to have some fun. 

Hear the angels marchin', hear the' marchin', 
hear them marchin', hear them marchin', the' marchin' 

Oh my Jesus... (repeat) 

Oh, don't you make it my dyin', dyin', dyin'... 



===================================================



Muhammad Ilham Malayu: Drugs took me somewhere I
didn't want to go 

Evi Mariani, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta


During his years of addiction, Muhammad Ilham Malayu
experienced lots of "good trips" and "bad trips"; that
is just about what his 50 years have given him: Good
times and bad times, from a large embassy house with a
garden in Pakistan to the largest maximum security
prison in Thailand.

Now, six years after prison he got out of prison, he
leads a new life as an antidrug activist who finds
spiritual fulfillment in helping young addicts escape
the incarceration of drugs. 

His long, intermittent relationship with morphine,
acid and heroin in the past has gained him respect
from young drug addicts because he understands the
pain of addiction. At the same time he gives them hope
that, like himself, they might find a way out of their
addiction. 

He also understands the joy and hell that drugs can
give to people. 

"When I was young, I was curious about where drugs
would take me," Ilham said, adding that some drugs
could make works of art and songs more enjoyable,
while others could boost one's confidence. 

"But joy is only 5 percent of the effect. The
remaining 95 percent is hell. One by one, anything you
value in life crumbles; wealth, family, health,
friends -- even life," he told The Jakarta Post.
"Sometimes drugs took me somewhere I really didn't
want to visit." 

You had better believe Ilham. He knows what he is
talking about. 

A son of a diplomat, Ilham was born in Manila, the
Philippines, in October 1954 and spent part of his
childhood in Karachi, where his family of nine lived
in a large house that needed eight domestic staff to
run. 

At eight, he saw falling snow for the first time in
West Germany when he gazed up at the sky, letting the
snowflakes fall onto his tiny face: "It was utterly
cold, but delightful." 

Later he reminisced about that happiness, writing a
short story about his childhood while in prison. 

Many might easily accuse him of being a "diplomatic
brat" who had an easy life on his parents' money. 

"In the 1970s I occasionally met Ilham when he joined
our group on mountaineering expeditions," N. Palindih,
an author, said. "He did not act like a spoiled child
-- I didn't even know he was the son of a diplomat; he
never brought it up." 

Even so, Ilham belonged to a trendy group of
long-haired, hippy-like, rock music devotees, Palindih
told the Post in a phone interview. 

In the 1970s, Jakarta, like other large cities in the
world, experienced a wave of antiestablishment feeling
and Ilham grew up in that milieu. 

"I read Tolstoy, Kafka, Dostoyevsky. I listened to Bob
Dylan and Jimmy Hendrix," Ilham said. 

In France, he played music, walked in Paris past cafes
with Edith Piaf crooning from a jukebox, and explored
a vineyard. 

Years later, life took him away from all these. 

At 31, he watched in horror as fellow inmates in
Thailand's maximum security Bang Kwang prison died
after the most serious prison riot of that time. 

With legs shackled to a three-kilogram chain, Ilham,
along with 8,000 other inmates had to undergo
punishment for the mutiny. 

"We were locked up for three whole days ... only given
red rice that still had dirt in it, stale vegetables
and sometimes rancid fish known as pla rebet," Ilham
wrote in his recently launched book of short stories,
Chromatic Nostalgia. 

Some of the inmates who had allegedly incited the riot
were shot by snipers or beaten. 

In 1984, Ilham was sentenced to 33 years and four
months imprisonment by a Thai court for trying to
traffic 80 grams of heroin from Don Muang Airport. 

"I had been desperately hooked on heroin. I was in
Paris, where the drug was so expensive. I was told
that in Thailand heroin was much cheaper," he said. 

In Thailand he experienced three overcrowded prisons,
which he described as "not places for human beings". 

The imprisonment separated him from his family in
Paris, where he lived with his wife at that time,
Frenchwoman Catherine Girault, and their five-year old
son Kama Kelana. 

"The most difficult thing was being far from my son
who did not know I was in prison until six years
later," he said. 

Kama thought his father had abandoned him and did not
want to see him anymore. 

"When his mother took a photo of him to show to me, he
deliberately scowled to show me he hated me for
leaving him," Ilham said. 

To retain his sanity while losing so much else, he
wrote poems, some for Kama, and short stories about
his previous happy life, mostly in English. 

Twenty-six of his poems were recited by Indonesian
celebrities at a charity performance titled "Survival
of the Sanity (S.O.S)" in Jakarta in 2000. 

"The fund was given to institutions working in the
field of drug abuse," Ilham said. 

After 15 years of imprisonment, when he thought he
would die in jail, after his dreams "had become faded
from too much washing and hanging", a warden at Klong
Prem Central Prison, Bangkok, told him King Bhumibol
Adulyadej had pardoned him for good behavior. 

In his poem to King Bhumibol Adulyadej, who later
invited Ilham to his birthday celebration on Dec. 5,
2000, he described the pardon as "heaven-sent". 

"It was beyond delight. It was ... I couldn't describe
it with words. I immediately got dressed, wearing only
a shirt and shorts and left all my belongings in
prison to fellow inmates," he said. 

"There was a long corridor toward the prison exit,
where inmates were not allowed to walk without guards,
so I waited for them to escort me out," he said. 

"No. You can walk out alone now -- you're a free man,"
a guard said to him. 

And so he walked along the empty corridor, passing
fellow inmates, waving them goodbye. 

That was in 1999. It took only six years for Ilham to
stand up and seize what he has now: A new family and
spirituality, to name but a few. 

"I find Ilham's story inspiring. People stumble and
fall. We should not be ashamed unless we refuse to get
up. Ilham fell and he did get up. That's inspiring,"
Palindih, who wanted to write a biography about Ilham,
said. 

"In Indonesia, attempts to tackle the drug problem are
just not enough. That's why I think Ilham's efforts
should be supported," Palindih added. "Sharing his
story would be an inspiring move." 

However, after reading Ilham's works, Palindih thought
that it would be better if Ilham wrote his own story. 

"His writing is good. If he writes the story himself,
he could convey his emotions better than I," he said. 

Ilham now works as an addiction counselor at the
Recovery Center for Drug Abuse at Marzuki Mahdi
Hospital, Bogor, West Java. He also hosts a radio talk
show about drugs on Delta FM. 

In 2003, he married Tini Hadju, who already had two
daughters, thereby giving him a new family, after his
divorce from Catherine in 2001. 

He wrote in his second book, Spring on the Calendar,
Autumn in My Heart: "Time has brought me this far. A
journey never to end ... I'm thankful for these
blessings that never cease to guide me. I was and am
never alone." 

"I'm really thankful to my brothers, sisters and
friends. They helped me a lot after prison," Ilham
told the Post. 

Although he can be considered to be in much better
circumstances now, there are still things he wants to
do. 

"I want to record a blues album with my friends," he
said. "I've seen a lot of sadness in society." 

"That's why I'd like to play the blues -- it's
obvious," he said, smiling. 



===============================================


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