Published: 25/8/2005, 10:15 (UAE) Polygamy 'can help solve issues but men must be qualified to marry again'
By Bassam Za'za', Staff Reporter Dubai: Polygamy can solve some social ills, such as reducing the number of women turning into spinsters and the natural longing to have children in the case of an infertile wife, Muslim scholars have said. However, the scholars stress that a man cannot marry a second wife unless he is "financially, physically and psychologically qualified". Women have got the right to be jealous, but because "the public interest is above the personal interest", women must accept their husbands having a second wife, one cleric said. This comment follows a report quoting Malaysia's leading Islamist politician as saying polygamy is a valuable way of saving women from becoming "aged virgins". Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat, the spiritual leader of the PAS Party, called on Muslim wives not to react violently if their husbands tell them that they want to take a second wife. They should consider the plight of other women "who would become aged virgins until they die because the men who want them are blocked from marrying them". Speaking to Gulf News, Dr Ahmad Abdul Aziz Al Haddad, Assistant Director of the Ifta' and Researches Administration at the Dubai Department of Islamic Affairs and Charitable Works, said: "Polygamy is beneficial for women more than men. This is because the number of women is more than the number of men due to their husbands' deaths or getting divorced. "Based on this fact, lots of women end up without husbands and this is why Islam legalised polygamy to resolve the problems of single women. "So, it's preferable for women to accept Sharia Law. Women are known for their jealousy which has been taken into account by the Islamic Sharia. But because the public interest is always above personal interest, women must accept their husbands having a second wife." Abdul Salam Mohammad, family affairs' counsellor and Islamic scholar, said: "It's a fact that polygamy is a valuable way of saving women from becoming spinsters. "Due to the increase in the number of females to males, a high percentage of women are ending up unmarried especially in societies that discourage polygamy. For instance, Tunisia stipulated laws that consider polygamy a crime. In other Muslim countries, a husband needs his first wife's consent to marry a second wife otherwise the first wife could file for divorce. In the UAE and some other countries, the media has ruined the image of polygamy to the extent that it became a socially unaccepted phenomenon, especially among women. Yet, polygamy is a solution and helps women avoid becoming spinsters. "I agree that a woman should tie the knot even to a married man instead of growing old and not getting married. However, the question is who among men is qualified to have a second wife. "A man who intends to have more than one wife should be financially, physically and psychologically qualified and divide his time equally among his wives to please them." The family affairs' counsellor called on women to choose their husbands wisely when men proposed to them as second wives. He further appealed to men to be vigilant and realistic before having a second marriage. "They should evaluate the pros and cons of having a second wife and anticipate what will happen after that. Through experience, I've noticed that when a man marries a second time, his relationship with his first wife strengthens. A second marriage is a psychological drive," Abdul Salam said. However, Huda A., a UAE national, unmarried in her early twenties, was not in agreement with the idea. She said: "Absolutely not. I wouldn't agree to take a married man even if I ended up being a spinster. "My father is married to three women. He faces many difficulties and pressures in pleasing his three wives and treating them uniformly. I've also seen his three wives acting enviously of each other. Taking his experience into consideration, I don't think I could marry a married man nor live with a second wife." Raghda, a 26-year-old Egyptian banker, was unsure about it. "I'm still unmarried. I would prefer not to be a second wife. However, I will wait until my early thirties and then I will decide whether to marry a married man or not. I hate the idea of spending my life alone and becoming a spinster." Wassim Nahhas, a 30-year-old Lebanese salesman who has been in Dubai for about two years, said, "I am always going to be dedicated to my wife. Honestly, I refuse polygamy because it's near impossible for a man to please more than one wife financially, emotionally and even socially. Though polygamy is acceptable according to Islamic Sharia I wouldn't have more than one wife." Viewpoint Polygamy is a valuable way of saving women from becoming "aged virgins", Malaysia's leading Islamist politician says. Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat, the spiritual leader of the PAS Party, called on Muslim wives not to react violently if their husbands tell them that they want to take a second wife. They should consider the plight of other women "who would become aged virgins until they die because the men who want them are blocked from marrying them". Nik Abdul Aziz is the chief minister of the northeastern state of Kelantan, which the PAS has ruled for 15 years. One of his sons is detained under Malaysia's internal security act as a suspected Islamic radical. Under Malaysian law, polygamy is legal for Muslims, who make up a little over half of the population. But they must fulfil various conditions before being allowed to take extra wives, up to a maximum of four. This month, after two Malaysian wives allegedly attacked their husbands with acid when they said that they wanted to marry again, Nik Abdul Aziz said: "A man who wants to take a second wife must be sensitive to his first wife's feelings. "He must be tender in his approach. A woman's heart is like a glass, very fragile and easily shattered. Husbands must learn how to take care of them." He has also called for men to be whipped if they desert their wives without paying maintenance. Similar punishment should apply to those who abused Islam's polygamous provisions. "In addition to being fined, these irresponsible men should be caned, preferably until they become impotent." Nik Abdul Aziz's website says that he has only one wife and 10 children. The Telegraph Group Limited, London 2005 http://www.gulf-news.com/Articles/NationNF.asp?ArticleID=178702 ------------------------ Yahoo! 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