http://www.arabnews.com/?page=13§ion=0&article=79050&d=7&m=11&y=2006&pix=kingdom.jpg&category=Local%20Press
Tuesday, 7, November, 2006 (16, Shawwal, 1427
Learn to Respect the Rights of Others
Dr. Anwar Abu Khaled . Al-Riyadh
Parents always complain how difficult it is to teach children not to
touch things that do not belong to them. This is especially the case with
household ornaments and antiques. I always noticed this problematic behavior
when children from different families get together; they end up creating a
chaotic mess out of everything around them.
The question is whether children act and behave in such a way merely to
discover their surroundings? Or do they do so because they are careless and
messy?
From a young age, children usually learn to respect the rights of others.
They learn this by dealing with people in the environment that they grow up in.
They learn the rights of others and the boundaries they are not supposed to
cross.
Families deal with this issue in two different ways. Some have no middle
ground and tend to be very strict punishing their children when they behave
chaotically and carelessly. Others are very lenient and never question or
correct their children's behavior or mistakes.
In both cases, parents' reactions incite children to develop a sense of
disrespect toward other people. Ultimately they may begin to develop a psyche
of ignoring all redlines that they have been told not to cross. A sense of
pressure always creates strong reactions and a far too strict or even lenient
atmosphere creates similar results. The rights of children and their families
tend to get lost and so both end up going around in circles. While growing up,
this chaotic behavior becomes a daily habit and starts to control their
thinking, psychological health and ultimately their daily lives, thus affecting
even those around them.
To protect our children from this psychological and behavioral confusion
we must get them accustomed to a disciplined life. They need to know their
limits and boundaries, and be able to respect the rights of others. This sort
of teaching develops a sense of awareness in children that they must achieve
goals and organize their thoughts.
Children must know how to discuss freely in a disciplined way. They must
feel comfortable to vent their inner feelings. They must be accustomed to deal
with their personal belongings freely while maintaining respect for people
around them. Children must learn discipline, they must become psychologically
balanced, must acquire the art of behaving and dealing with others, and be able
to value time and productivity.
For instance, children can be afforded the freedom to play with their
toys, but they should know that they have no liberty to break or ruin them.
They should be given the right to stay up late at night on the condition that
they respect other people and do not bother or annoy anyone. Likewise, children
should be given the right to look at ornaments kept in a house but they should
know that they have no right to touch or ruin anything. These redlines teach
children to be productive and respectful of the rights of others.
Disciplining children and clarifying boundaries do not necessarily mean
that children have been deprived of their childhood needs of wanting to play,
discover and be creative. We must remember that we need to teach our children
to respect each individual and their personal freedoms. It's also the right of
children to be provided with means to fulfill their physical and psychological
needs
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