LION AIR


"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your  captain speaking. 
Welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Lion Air. 
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking  off, it was due to
bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.

This is flight 717 to Yogyakarta. Landing there is not guaranteed, but
we will end up somewhere in Central Java .And, if luck is in our
favor, we may even be landing on your village!

Lion Air has an  excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety
standards are so high, that even  terrorists are afraid to fly with
us!  It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over
30% of our passengers have reached their destination.  If our engines
are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn
them off!

For our not-so-religious  passengers, we are the only airline who can
 help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie  will not  be
shown as we forgot to record it from the  television. However, for our
movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Garuda Indonesia, where 
their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the
cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to
slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as
close as possible for the best view. If however, we go a little too
close, do let us  know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies
right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off
and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a
seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to  the arm of your seat. And,
for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in
touch with a stewardess who will  explain how to fasten yourself to
your suitcase."

Enjoy LION AIR !!




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