> >Now all I need to do is persuade either QPC2 or PC to answer the phone > >for me to filter out the whacky sales calls getting in the way of the > >real customers! Perhaps I could make up a stupid CD of prank sounds for > >QPC2's CD Player to play to the endless telephone salesmen while I > >leave them on hold! > > I will not forget the guy on R4 You and Yours who said his approach was > to sound very interested. "Hold on a minute, I will get my wife. I > know it is just what she wants". He then puts the phone on hold, and > checks every once in a while. Apparently his record was 45 minutes. > The brilliant thing is that not only does the caller pay a fortune, but > he cannot pester anyone else for that time. > I wish I had the patience to do that. Well, the alternative is even simpler, like dealing with malicious calls. Don't say anything...just put th ereceiver down and leave the caller to talk to himself to run up his bill. He can hear you in the background and doesn't know whether to hang up or not. Meanwhile, his bill is clocking up and if his call centre supervisors are monitoring him (and the persistent annoying call centre ones are usually male in my experience, women will usually take no for an answer) the long calls reduce his effectiveness rating. You don't mind so much if they accept a simple 'no thank you' but th epersistent ones make me want to reach down the phone and tweak their noses Dastardly and Muttley style (was it the General who used to do that...the ranting phone calls and the henad emerging from the phone to thump one of them?)
> >(Before anyone says it, we tried TPS, > TPS? Telephone Preference Service. Only applies to UK calls though. > > judging by the accents many of these calls are probably from foreign > >call centres anyway...Path Name Length error...wonder if I could get > >away with saying "Sorry I only speak Welsh" to them?). > What language would you say that in (8-)# Je ne parle pas Anglais? Or ultra-broken English. Or put on a mock Anglesey farmer's accent, that'd confuse 'em ;-) There was a program on TV some time ago about someone who goes to live on a remote Scottish island. Trouble was, many of the actors sounded more like they were from south Wales than Scotland! Another very cruel trick is to answer a question they haven't asked. I'm not quick witted enough to do this, but the boss put one such call on speakerphone one day having winked at us to say "this is how you get rid of them." The poor guy on the other end of the phone asked him to confirm his name. My boss replied "26" or something like that. He was asked if we had company mobiles. The reply was something like "I have a dog and a cat". This went on for a little while until the poor guy at the other end decided to give up and go for the Valium tablets I think. Back to the subject of the CD with prank noises, Darren Branagh won't like being reminded about this one. I sent him a cassette with the words "relaxing music" on the label, but in reality it was about 20 minutes' worth of sheep noises. Apparently he nearly crashed his car - he decided to play the tape on his car radio to find out what this "relaxing music" was, and the volume happened to be up high! Dilwyn Jones _______________________________________________ QL-Users Mailing List http://www.q-v-d.demon.co.uk/smsqe.htm
