Do you remember... 1979? , i suspect you chaps will but do you remember
this rather funny sketch from Not the nine oclock news. Only sending it
because i had a local MP brow beating me on my door step last night and
his waffle to some awkward questions i fired across his bow reminded me
of this...... enjoy... or flame me, your choice. have a good weekend
all. Neil



(ROWAN ATKINSON) A GRIMACING CROSS-EYED MP IS ABOUT TO ADDRESS AN
ELECTION GATHERING. BUNTING DECORATES THE BACKGROUND, ALONG WITH A LARGE
SIGN WHICH READS 'IT'S YOUR VOTE'. HE SPEAKS IN EXAGGERATED HAIR-LIPPED
TONES WITH LOTS OF LIMBS FLAILING. 

MP (ATKINSON)
My Lord Mayor... (MELIFLUOUSLY) My Lady Mayoress... (DOES EXAGGERATED
WINK). My Lords, Ladies, Gentlemen, and members of the press, there
comes a time when we must all stand up and be counted. I am standing up
now, and can be counted. 

BEAT 

One! (GRINS, SELF-SATISFIED) And, with an election pending, 'one's are
about to become singularly important. Because Britain is facing the
gravest constitutional crisis... since 1380! And, you know, many of us
still remember the dark days! And if we're going to prevent the lights
going out on our lives once more, we must ask ourselves crucial
questions! 

PAUSE, FLOUNDERS, CONSULTS NOTES 

Where are we? How did we get here? Why did we come? Where do we want to
go? How do we want to get to where we want to go? How far do we have to
go before we get to where we want to be? How would we know where we were
when we got there? HAVE WE GOT A MAP? 

PAUSES FOR EFFECT 

But surely, surely you can see my point. 'Cos what I'm talking about is
life. Because life is one of those things, isn't it, that... that most
of us find it very difficult to avoid. In the words... in the words of
David Dimbleby, "life is uncertain". My life certainly has a certain
uncertaincy about it. And I'm certain that yours does to, and with your
uncertaincy, and my uncertaincy, there's certainly a certain degree of
uncertaincy about... of that we can be... quite sure... 

CONSULTS NOTES 

So, as a party we must not be frightened. And we must be prepared for
this fight. It is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a
needle, than it is for a camel to... 

CONFUSED, CONSULTS NOTES 

...that it is for a camel to. Because we don't want to end up, do we,
like the blind man, in the dark room, looking for the black cat... that
isn't there! Goodnight, thank you very much. 




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