>When someone makes a snide, demeaning, or insulting comment, does it truly
>make them feel better? Does it better the situation?
Rarely. But, just as you took it upon yourself to tell others, who were
complaining about the guy posting off-topic material to the list, that
*they* were misbehaving, *they* were telling *him* that *he* was misbehaving.
Yes, some of them were too "rude". But he (and others) can delete and
ignore such mail just as easily as they're expected to do so for mail
from people asking "how can I get off this list".
In a large meeting-room full of earnest people, quietly discussing issues
they consider quite important, it would be considered *very* rude if
someone started repeatedly yelling "I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO OPERATE THESE
EXIT DOORS SO I CAN LEAVE THE ROOM" because they weren't reading whatever
instructions were available.
Such an individual should, instead, look for one or two particularly
knowledgeable people and quietly ask them for assistance, after having
exhausted the "read the instructions" phase of problem-solving.
In such a case, people in the meeting-room yelling back "STOP ALL THAT
YELLING YOU IDIOT" also would be considered rude, but to some people they'd
at least have some hope of preventing *others* from thinking the meeting
is "fair game" for *any* issue somebody wants to yell about.
Fortunately, off-topic email is easier to ignore than off-topic yelling
in a meeting-room.
However, one of the ways people handle off-topic email is to leave the
forum where it's being permitted. (I've done so several times.) Once
it becomes clear that many participants prefer to yell at people for
*complaining* about off-topic mail or other rude behavior over (politely)
indicating that off-topic mail and rude behavior are not welcome, people
who might have been substantial contributors to the forum often decide
on their own to leave.
After all, that, too, is easier to do in email than leaving a meeting-room,
especially one joined by virtue of a substantial investment in the room,
a hotel, travel, etc.
And once enough *contributors* leave a meeting-room or email forum, it
loses its value.
In short, it's become fashionable in some societies (e.g. the USA) to
vociferously complain about "intolerance" and other such behaviors
while studiously ignoring the society-eroding activities that trigger
such behaviors in others. That fashion has had at least one general effect:
of causing many to no longer risk telling others when they *are*
behaving badly, lest they be upbraided for daring to "judge".
So I don't disagree with you that some of the responses here were rude.
But they were in response to some pretty rude behavior (although, I think
the originator did make a good attempt to redeem himself by posting
useful info on what he found to be the problem, and probably learned
his lesson -- not just how to unsubscribe -- anyway).
tq vm, (burley)
