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~pt. 1~DONKEY TRACKS" ~~
Flow Like A River http://www.riversongs.net/Flash/flar.html Friends http://www.riversongs.com/Flas/friends.html You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time. -- M. Scott Peck A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections. -- Chinese Proverb "Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side."-âauthor unknown Words should be weighed and not counted. We have two ears, but only one mouth, so that we may listen Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important From the day you were born till you ride in a hearse, there's nothing so bad but it might have been worse. -- American Proverb Who invented embalming? The ancient Egyptians, of course, are famous for their embalming techniques. But modern embalming, in which a preservative is injected into the corpse's arteries, was developed in the 1600s by the same guy who discovered the circulatory system - Englishman William Is it true that embalmers sometimes took corpses on tour to attract business? It's not easy being a salesman when you have no product to show! So, yes, enthusiastic embalmers eager to sell the public on the new art of embalming sometimes liked to take their handiwork on the road. The corpses were exhibited at country fairs and in the windows of barbershops. Is it true that the ancient Egyptians embalmed their cats? Yes, and not just cats either. Numerous animals were embalmed by the Egyptians, including birds and monkeys. But cats, well-loved and revered, were mourned by the entire family when they died and were often mummified in elaborate fashion, by both rich and poor alike. #1 Our nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. Several times during his speech, he halted, overcome with what I assumed was a moment of deep emotion. But after a particularly long pause, he explained, "I'm sorry. I can't seem to make out what I've written down." Looking out into the audience, he asked, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?" A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started to discuss the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." "I know!" said a third... "They use it to find the fire hydrant!" John was visiting a friend in the hospital. He had recently quit smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A woman on the elevator said to him with a snarl, "Sir! There's no smoking in here!" 'I'm not smoking lady," replied John. "But you have a cigar in your mouth!" the woman said. "Lady," John answered, "I've got on Jockey shorts, too, but I'm not riding a horse!" A husband arrived home that day, he found his wife seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed her a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the drive-way." The doctors say he will probably live, but it will be quite awhile before all the casts come off. |
- [QUAD-L] ~pt.1~DONKEY TRACKS" ~~ Jwmjimmy
- [QUAD-L] ~pt.1~DONKEY TRACKS" ~~ Jwmjimmy
- [QUAD-L] ~pt.1~DONKEY TRACKS" ~~ Jwmjimmy
- [QUAD-L] ~pt.1~DONKEY TRACKS" ~~ Jwmjimmy
