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It's VERY hard to find true blue friends anymore. People just seem to not want to take the time to invest all it takes to take on the burdens, risks & responsibilities that REAL BONDING FRIENDSHIPS require.
One person I know who'd fit the bill is my best friend from high school. While she did go on her way with getting an unwanted pregnancy and marriage ... we've been again in contact although now 3000 miles away. She went thru all my hospital stay (over a yr) with me & my family. And we were tight before my accident.
We had a long talk one night on friendships and she too feels the same although she's made one or two close friends since moving to Milford, PA ummmmm 15+ yrs ago. If it weren't frigid there and she lived closer to medical care ... I might move.
I just found out this past week (during a visit w/ my eldest sister) that if something were to happen to my husband she wouldn't/couldn't do anything more than help me into an asst living facility. Been there, did that..no thanks! Now I see where my REAL family values are :-( I only have 2 sisters. Parents both deceased. Aunts, Uncles are either dead or decrepit. Cousins are only acquaintences.
I grew up with my parents & grandparents owning their own businesses in a small town. They both had hundreds of friends because of both criteria. Our house was NATURALLY Grand Central Station or The Dew Drop-Inn but with people known for dozens of yrs. That's all gone now.
I am extremely envious of so many I know who have offspring and thus extended family. Just me & my husband this past T-day and upcoming Christmas. He's all I'm thankful for.
Lori
C4/5 quad
Tucson, AZ
-------Original Message-------
Date: 12/22/04 19:23:05
Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Social life
I never found real friends at support groups, etc.
My only real friends have been neighbors and friends of my families, people I can see often, not having to rely on someone to take me. But for many many years I couldn't find any, though had many sort of friends, what changed was me. I never use to initiate it, to call them, ask them over, not wait for them. No one wants to be the one to ask all the time...
Greg
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, December 22, 2004 4:14 PM
Subject: [QUAD-L] Social life
I have been injured 10+ years and in that time have been unable to develop true friendships. A high level c4/5 quad I am dependent on an aid for personal care, driving etc. I have joined support groups, local disabled associations and the like but have not had any luck beyond informal acquaintances, though of my history of skin problems, health and availability of my aide to assist/ drive has also hindered participation somewhat.
Any advice or views?
Ed
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