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I thought you might enjoy these.
Mark
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its
comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions
and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show
responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often)
dull, as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of
course. Enjoy !
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water
long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how
high should you
be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do
it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
probably a man or a
woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a
party and you
think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and
ask him if he's
married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get
older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say
"I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and
a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get
Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the
next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less
with your hands
while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question
Peter, and I'll give
you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Harley riders wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are
you going to get
any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects
at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in
the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the
bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the CampFire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail.
What will a goose
do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of
the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with
getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body,
what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't
neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your
wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its
sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up
to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are
they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you
should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh. | 
