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I heard that one long ago. They just upped the date to 2005. :-)
Still cute
Lori
-------Original Message-------
Date: 03/31/05 17:19:37
Subject: [QUAD-L] Fw: Noah
I thought this was pretty good. Silas
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, March 31, 2005 12:47 PM
Subject: Fw: Noah
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2005 11:37 PM
> Subject: Noah
>
>
>> In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
>> the United States, and said,
>> "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I
>> see the end of all flesh before me.
>> Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a
>> few good humans.
>> He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to
>> build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40
>> nights".
>> Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in
>> his yard but no ark.
>>
>> "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the
>> Ark?"
>>
>> "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I
>> needed a Building Permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about
>> the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated
>> the
>> neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and
>> exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development
>> Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation
> demanded
>> a
>> bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other
>> overhead
>> obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.
>> I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear
>> nothing of it.
>>
>> Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting
>> local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
>> Environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls But no go!
>>
>> When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal
>> rights group.They insisted that I was confining wild animals against
>> their will.As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and
>> it
>> was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
>>
>> Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
>> conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
>>
>> I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
>> Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building
>> crew.
>> Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I
>> have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.
>> To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm
>> trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
>> So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me
>> to finish this Ark."
>> Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
>> stretched across the sky.Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
>> "You mean, You're not going to destroy the world?".
>> "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
>>
>> Lisa T. Hardin
>> Senior Health Education Specialist
>> Health Net Federal Services
>> Preventive Care Services
>> P: (916) 353-6751
>> F: (916) 351-4037
>>
>> Have a Healthy & Happy Day!
>>
>>
>>
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>>
>>
>>
>>
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>>
>
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