Re: [QUAD-L] Thanks Dave

[David K. Kelmer]

Hi Larry,

 

I have 8 main different sets that I go through 30 times each.  I do them while still in bed.  Arms straight over my head up then brought down and back up, arms out to the side brought in meeting (I try to think I'm wrapping my arms around a beach ball), arms at my side bringing each one up to my chin, arms down brought up straight overhead (the reverse of set one so the breathe is let out on the opposite move, arms bent with hands at my chin then arms pushed out to the side and back in, arms straight out to the side making circles, arms straight up overhead doing circles, arms in a bent position with a running movemen pump.  Each move is made in time with a breath and with wrists cocked while I hold and relax.  The longer I've worked on these moves I've found I'm able to work the muscles connected to the ones I can control (stomach, back, etc) and the faster I move the faster I breathe to keep my heart rate up.  I wish t! his was clearer but if you're really interested I'm sure we can figure out a way to show you how each set is done.        

 

I hope this helps some.

 

With Love,

CtrlAltDel aka Dave
C4/5 Complete - 29 Years Post
Texas, USA

William Willis <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

Dave, thanks for sharing your story. It took some kinda grit and guts to
make those decisions. God bless. By the way, what do you do as a workout?
Larry

>From: "David K. Kelmer" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>To: Lori Michaelson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, [EMAIL PROTECTED],
>Quad
>Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] LOOKING FOR FEEDBACK...
>Date: Mon, 1 Aug 2005 20:52:51 -0700 (PDT)
>
>Hi JT,
>
>I'm sorry that this feedback is getting to you so late. First, let me
>welcome you to the Quad-List. As Lori says you've already received some
>good responses so I'll just add mine to them.
>
>Every SCI case is different, just as every person is different, but one
>thing most of us will agree on is that the first couple of years after a
>SCI are the hardest. It may no! t be that life gets better but you'll learn
>to deal with life in a better way.
>
>I was white-water rafting on the Upper Salt River in '76 when I broke my
>neck at C4-5. I was 22 and had been married for 5 years. We had two sons,
>5 & 2 1/2, and I was managing the second largest car-wash in Phoenix
>(Freeway Car Wash, Black Canyon Highway & Camelback Rd.) at the time. Part
>of my pay package was an insurance policy on me and my family, but the
>place had been sold to a new man in Jan. of '76, and he had changed
>insurance carriers, and to save money the new policy went into effect on
>May 01 and the old policy expired April 15. I should have been on top of
>that but I was running the place, keeping the books straight, and doing all
>of the hiring & firing, and that little gap of two weeks went unnoticed
>until I broke my neck April 25! Well, the old company felt real bad but
>! they couldn't do anything to help, and the new company's policy hadn't
>taken effect yet so they felt real bad but they couldn't help, either.
>Life sure has a sense of humor!
>
>I did my rehab at Good Sam, and took the ACT and with the help of VR I
>started taking classes at GCC. I was taking the PT's advice and was
>pushing myself around campus in a manual chair. I made the Dean's List the
>first semester and was on my face most of the time letting my bottom heal
>through the next semester. I went back the next semester and made the
>Dean's List again, and spent the next 6 months letting the flap surgery I
>had to have done on my bottom heal. With all of that time to think about
>my priorities my wife and I decided that it would be better if she went to
>work and I stayed home with the boys.
>
>By this time life was starting to seem ''normal'' and things were looking
>better. I! was staying out of the hospital, had taken a position on the PTA
>Board at my boys school, and my wife was working days. Life seemed like it
>would be okay but going in a new direction. I took over running our home,
>getting the boys through school, and keeping my wife involved, etc.
>
>Now, I know everyone is different, so by when I noticed that my wife was
>having trouble sleeping and showing other signs of depression we sat down
>and had a good long talk. After talking with a councilor we were able to
>see that my wife felt like she wasn't contributing to our family, and that
>because we had married young she felt that there wasn't anything that she
>could look at and get the satisfaction that she'd accomplished that on her
>own. She felt like her dad had taken care of her until we married and I
>had taken care of her since then. I knew she was an equal partner in
>everything we had, but! knowing something and changing the way someone feels
>are very different things.
>
>We discussed different ideas but I could tell that if things continued the
>way they were going that in a year, maybe two, what she was feeling as
>dissatisfaction would turn to anger, and eventually hate, and it would be
>directed toward me. So, in early '85 we came up with a plan that while I
>knew would be hard on me and our boys in the short run, would be the best
>thing for us all in the long run. We decided that we would sell our home
>and she and our boys would move back to central MI where she grew-up and
>get a place that she felt was her own. I moved back to Lincoln Park, a
>suburb of Detroit. I would be far enough away so she would feel that she
>was going it alone, but close enough that my boys could come to visit when
>we needed to see each other. The plan was for her to take two years and if
&g! t;she didn't think she had made the right decision we'd get back together and
>go on from there.
>
>By late '86 she had succeeded in creating a new home and life that she felt
>she could call her own. The boys had adjusted to the changes and I decided
>that she would be okay on her own, so I made the decision to move back to
>AZ where the weather was better suited for me. The boys would stay with
>Mom and spend the summers with me. I had an Uncle that lived in Arlington,
>TX that asked me if I wanted to spend a few weeks with them before going on
>to AZ. I agreed and was staying with them for the start of the New Year,
>1987.
>My Aunt & Uncle both worked days but I had planned everything I would need
>to have each day so that I could live on my own, so it was a great 'test
>run' for when I moved on. My Uncle took me to see all of the 'tourist'
>sights around the Dallas area, and I h! ad some very close friends that were
>living in Wichita Falls and I called them and made arrangements to visit
>them. When I got here I found a friendly small city that had everything
>that I needed medically and so I decided to move here instead of going on
>to AZ. With the help of my Aunt & Uncle and my friends I rented a place
>and made a new start.
>
>Leaving my family behind was hard but I have never regretted that decision.
> My boys loved spending summers with me, and when my youngest son
>graduated from high-school he moved down here to live with me. He has gone
>on in school and is now a Police Officer in Iowa Park, a small town about 7
>miles from WF. He married our pastor's daughter and has two daughters. My
>oldest son went to work for White, Inc., married a girl from MI. and they
>have a son and a daughter. His wife has a brother that lives in TX so they
>are able to vis! it me and then go see her brother, too. My wife and I
>remained close emotionally and continued to work together to raise our
>boys. With her untimely death in '98 her spirit has continued on in the
>lives of our sons and our grandchildren. I know that in her heart she
>passed on knowing she had succeeded in her life on her own merits.
>
>I'm 52 years old, am in good health, and workout 6 days a week first thing
>each morning. I watch my granddaughters as often as I am able, and enjoy
>each day of my life. In the Spring of '87 my sister moved here and in mid
>'87 my mother moved here, too. My brother moved here in '88 and married a
>lady from OK and has a 13 year old girl. My sister is married now and
>lives in AR with her husband and son.
>
>I've worked on different things over the years and volunteer time to help
>with my church, local politics, and also help with peer counseling on a
>couple of spinal cord injury-Yahoo Groups. I am a 'Founding Member of the
>National Campaign for Tolerance', an organization co-chaired by Morris Dees
>& Rosa Parks through the Southern Poverty Law Center, and I am active in
>the area of teaching tolerance with the Tolerance.org Program. On Oct. 23
>in Montgomery, AL, the Civil Rights Memorial Center & Wall of Tolerance
>will be dedicated. My name will appear on 'The Wall of Tolerance' during
>the celebration of the 40th Anniversary of the speech by Dr. Martin Luther
>King, Jr at the Selma-to-Montgomery Voting Rights March and the 50th
>Anniversary of the arrest of Rosa Parks setting up a boycott that started
>the Civil Rights Movement.
>
>I hope you stay with the Quad-List and find answers to the questions that
>we here have asked ourselves at some point.
>
>With Love,
>
>CtrlAltDel aka Dave
>C4/5! Complete - 29 Years Post
>Texas, USA
>
>
>Lori Michaelson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>wrote:
>
>Hey another New Yorker!
>
>You have gotten a couple good responses from the quad list.
>
>Things get better, then like all people, trials & tribulations happen and
>things may get bad
>again. I'm going through a perrsonal hell right now getting home care.
>
>But like Stephen King wrote in The Shawshank Redemption -- "Get busy livin'
>or get busy Dyin'"
>
>Write anytime
>
>Lori Michaelson
>C4/5 complete quad, 25 years post
>Tucson, AZ
>
>
>-------Original Message-------
>
>From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Date: 07/28/05 14:48:01
>To: quad list
>Subject: [QUAD-L] LOOKING FOR FEEDBACK...
>
>
>Dear Quad-list,
> My life has been filled with its biggest challenges in the past year.
>August 2, 2! 004 I had a life-changing diving accident that left me paralyzed
>from my chest down. I'm considered a quadriplegic because I have a little
>inervasion in my triceps and wrist flexors and I don't have any
>independent movement of my fingers.
> I was a 31-year-old, married, father of two, a successful chef, and a
>modern man of the house. After my accident, it was unclear what I would be
>able to do. The doctors made no promises, but I was told that my injury is
>considered incomplete, which means there's a chance to regain at least some
>movement and sensation.
>
> I spent a total of 115 days away from home. Most of that time was spent
>in rehab learning how to do such simple things as feed myself, bathe
>myself, sit up, and how to use what movement I have to be as independent as
>I can.
> While I was away from home, the community rallied in support. There
>were several fundraisers, a! ll aimed at renovating my house for me and my
>wheelchair. There were many volunteers, friends, family, and complete
>strangers that donated money, time, prayers, or just generous words of
>support.
>
> Every day I looked forward to coming home. I would speak with my wife
>every evening, and she would come to visit almost every weekend. Even
>though it was a little rocky, I always thought we would make it work. We'd
>been together for over 10 years, married for almost six. I always thought
>we were soul-mates and would grow old together. We are now facing
>separation. I guess no one knows what they would do if their spouse became
>permanently handicapped.
> How do you know if you're not in the situation?
>
> Lots of people have told me that life goes on, you can do anything you
>could before, just a little different. I heard many success stories of
>people who went on to have s! uccessful careers, marriages, and families
>after a spinal cord injury.
> I was especially very positive in the beginning, when I had the support
>of therapists and specialists. My positive attitude faded when I came home,
>I became very depressed. I stopped exercising except for physical therapy,
>and began self-medicating. I was very frustrated with the things I used to
>be able to do at home.
> There was a" friend" who had been staying at my house for several months
>who was helping my wife with many of the things I used to do around the
>house. I was only home for two weeks before they became intimate.
>
> The Monday after New Year's she told me she wanted to move out, a week
>later she told me what had happened and had been going on for a month. I
>thought I could share her. It was only a matter of months before I
>snapped. She has left me the house, and acquired an apartment down the
>street for her and the kids, so they can come and visit often.
> I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for a couple of close
>friends who have moved into my house to help me.
>
> How do I move on? I believe I have a lot to offer, I used to think we
>would be together forever, now I'm craving companionship, intimacy, and
>someone to be close to.
>
>I am grateful for any advice and or feedback,
>Truly yours, Paralyzed and Confused in the Adirondacks
>
>
>JT... 32 YO... C6... ALMOST 1 YR POST
>
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