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Subject: Retirement Living
Date: Wed, 28 Jun
2006 22:03:16 -0700
Howdy
Hope "Ya'all" are
ready, Thursday the days start getting shorter.
First thing "Ya" know,
the ole snow balls will be flying.
How's that for some
depressing news?
Maybe the following will
cheer "Ya" up a bit?
I think it offends just
about everybody?
Toodle for
now
Marilyn &
Jim
As we all
know, sometimes we come face to face with the fact that it may be time to
relocate. The big question is: where to? Here are some tips.
You can live in Phoenix, Arizona wher!
e.....
1. You are willing to
park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced
condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You
can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have
over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is
comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6.
The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still
can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going
down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive
your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone
asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get
there rather than how many miles away it is.
You
can Live in New York City where...
1. You say
"the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3.You think Central Park is "nature,"
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in
their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5.
You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye
contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt,
pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is
anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are:
winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a
movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "y'all" is singular and "all
y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense
5.
Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY
BETH, etc.
You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your
$3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick
up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass
does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald,
but you still have a pony tail.
You can live in the
Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor
knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass
a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When
asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat
dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some
kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent
dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
(Love this one).
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and
snowbirds.
Tim.......
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