This message is from a commencement speech made by a
Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen, at
Villanova University.


Lilies Of The Field
-- By Anna Quindlen

 

I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is
all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and
your work.

You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one
thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of
people out there with your same degree; there will be
thousands of people doing what you want to do for a
living. But you will be the only person alive who has
sole custody of your life.

Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your
life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or
at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but
the life of your heart. Not just your bank account but
your soul.

People don't talk about the soul very much anymore.
It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a
spirit. But a resume is a cold comfort on a winter
night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or
when you've gotten back the test results and they're
not so good.

Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three
children. I have tried never to let my profession
stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer
consider myself the center of the universe. I show up.
I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my
husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what
they say.

I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me.
Without them, there would be nothing to say to you
today, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But I
call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I
would be rotten, or at best mediocre at my job, if
those other things were not true. You cannot be really
first rate at your work if your work is all you are.

So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life.
A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next
promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house.

Do you think you'd care so very much about those
things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found
a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice
the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze
over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and
watch how a red tailed hawk circles over the water or
the way a baby scowls with concentration when she
tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first
finger. Get a life in which you are not alone. Find
people you love, and who love you. And remember that
love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone.
Send an e-mail. Write a letter.

Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that
life is the best thing ever, and that you have no
business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about
its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take
money you would have spent on beers and give it to
charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or
sister.

All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good
too, then doing well will never be enough.

It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours,
our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the
color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a
symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises
again.

It is so easy to exist instead of to live. I learned
to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey,
not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress
rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you
get.

I learned to look at all the good in the world and try
to give some of it back because I believed in it,
completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in
part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling
them this:

Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on
a baby's ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on
your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a
terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it
with joy and passion as it ought to be lived.

 


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