Stacy, Thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts. My mom sounds like yours.......trying to have a sense of power and purpose by giving the illusion of helping and then never taking the time to do the real compassionate work of learning about the daily life struggles of a quad.
Be well, Paul ----- Original Message ----- From: Stacy Harim To: Paul Jacobson ; Quadius ; [email protected] Sent: Sunday, April 13, 2008 6:53 PM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] 20th anniversary Thanks Paul. That is kind. I wish everyone were that way. So many with minor problems find a way to complain about so much such as my own mother who had to get two toes amputated about a month ago. She's in rehab now and is constantly complaining to me. I just want to shake her. She acts so worried about me but then acts like her problems are so much bigger than mine. I sympathize but at least she can walk even if it's not well. I have it so much better than so many of you on the list and I respect what you all go through in a day. I was a quad wish absolutely no movement for a short time and now paraplegic so I know how bad it can be and thank God everyday that I am not. When I first became sick I just didnt get up one day and woke up about a month later from a coma. I realize that if I didnt have a roommate to call 911,I would be dead and am so grateful that I wake up every day. Its sad that it took so much for me to appreciate my life even if it is pretty bad at times. When it's bad, its bad and I dont even bother complaining to anyone about it. I put on a face when I'm not doing well because I don't want to bring down people around me and don't want them to feel bad for me. They have their own issues to deal with, I don't want to bother them with mine. My mom's friend gave me a card for my graduation from high school and it's the only one I remember. I will never forget his words God rest his soul. He said "life is a do it yourself project" I think that says it all. Stacy ----- Original Message ---- From: Paul Jacobson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: Stacy Harim <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; Quadius <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; [email protected] Sent: Sunday, April 13, 2008 9:40:35 PM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] 20th anniversary I don't know you Stacy. But I am inspired, respectful and incredibly appreciative for your words. Clearly, you model the daily drive we all should strive for in making each day count. Good Luck and thank you Stacy! Paul C5/6 Complete Injured 11/05/03 San Diego, CA ----- Original Message ----- From: Stacy Harim To: Quadius ; [email protected] Sent: Sunday, April 13, 2008 6:31 PM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] 20th anniversary I totally agree with the post. I'm coming up on my 7th memorial weekend. It seems almost every spring it has been something with me. I had bladder surgery that didnt work, pressure sore surgery twice on the same one and both in the spring, last year infection in my spinal column which required major amounts of rods and this spring a screw has broken through the vertebrae and is rubbing the one above it. Another surgery! I keep going and take it day by day. People keep telling me how strong I am and they dont know if they could do it. I just tell them that if they had to, they would. It the typical fight or flight. Deal with it and move on or curl up in a corner and live the rest of your life in a nursing home which isnt an option for me. I'm not knocking those in a nursing home b/c I realize there is no choice for some but I was lucky in finding a way to do it on my own so I did and will fight to keep my independence. Stacy ----- Original Message ---- From: Quadius <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: [email protected] Sent: Saturday, April 12, 2008 4:20:12 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] 20th anniversary Last year I wanted to write a blog about my 12th anniversary, but I didn't feel that inspired at that time. Now I'm trying to write one about my 13th, even though I am about a week and a half late. It seems that I copied a message from someone on this list to give me inspiration for this year's blog. I found it to be one of the best entries I had read regarding quad milestones and I am seriously considering using it as a format for my blog. I, however, would like to find out who it is, because for some reason I didn't copy down the name. The anniversary date of the person's accident was April 1, 1988. Is that person still on the list or does anyone have an idea who this might be. Below is a small excerpt of what I copied. Finding things in life I like or dislike, in other words its like being reborn all over again, minus learning to walk. Over these years I have been asked "How do you do it?" or "I'm not sure what I would do if that happened to me". How do I do it? Easy, I live each day as it comes, take what is given to me and accept it for what it is. As to the other question, you either choose to live life to the fullest or wither up, the latter for me is not an option. I also have some pretty cool disabled friends that keep me focused along the way. Thanks, Quadius __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! 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