I agree that she'll need professional help because of the bipolar diagnoses.  
Right now she just needs people to be there to sit by her, even if it's a 
volunteer from the hospital.  I remember how scary it was just being by 
yourself and not being able to communicate.  Lots of cards and mail was helpful 
to me, just knowing people cared.  I wish she had more people to lean on I'm 
sure it's awfully hard for you to keep her positive with all those text 
messages.  Good luck.

Debbie
C4 incomplete/April 2005

--- On Tue, 6/24/08, John S. <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

From: John S. <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Help
To: "QUADLIST" <[email protected]>
Date: Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 11:32 AM



#yiv1955825320 DIV {
        MARGIN: 0px
}



You might ask if she is seeing a shrink. If she is bipolar already, then there 
is a limit with friends and family having a positive effect. She is definitely 
a case for a professional. Her feelings about her life are completely normal, 
but a friend won't see it that way. She has to pass through several more stages 
before she accepts her loss and decides to deal with it. The fact that she is 
communicating is actually positive. 
She will need psychiatric help when she leaves the IC but be sure she takes it. 
Many people turn it down and never work through it. I'm sure someone on here 
remembers all the stages. At certain points, considering she has an existing 
emotional condition, she will need some extra help. Friends and Family simply 
can't provide this help.
I wish you and your friend the very best.
john




----- Original Message ----
From: NICHOLE ROHLING <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: QUADLIST <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 3:33:53 PM
Subject: [QUAD-L] Help






Dear friends on the list
I received this msg from a friend - what would be your advice to this young 
woman?
Nicki
C5-6
 
I need your help.  I have a very dear friend that was in an auto accident a 
month ago and broke her back in four places.  Amanda is 29 years old and has 
two children and is divorced.  Amanda was in a coma and on a ventilator for two 
weeks, but has come out and is breathing on her own.  She has an arm that is 
broken in two places and her airway was damaged by the ventilator and she will 
be on a feeding tube for several months.  She has no feeling from her belly 
button down.  Amanda also suffers from a bipolar disorder, which is not helping 
her cope with this situation.  She has resorted to text messaging since her 
voice will not go above a whisper due to the throat damage.  I receive about 40 
messages a day from her and I am running out of ideas of how to help her.  
Amanda was told today by her doctor that she has a 1% chance of ever gaining 
feeling in her legs.  I have asked her if she would be willing to talk to you 
so you could shed some
 light on how life is still totally possible, but she is not ready to talk to 
you.  I just wondered if you had some ideas on what I can do to help her.  I 
feel so helpless when she sends me messages of how bad she is hurting or that 
she spent the entire day crying and I try to distract her, but I do not know 
how much help I am giving her.  Her daughter, Caitlin, is Bridgette's best 
friend and she is a dance at DCDC.  Her son, Benjamin, is 6 years old.  The 
children are staying with their father and are in great hands.  Amanda is an 
only child and has very little family so she sits in ICU alone at OU Medical 
Ctr a lot.  Do you have any advise to offer me to help her with this?  She 
sends me messages saying it would have been better if she would have just died 
and I get onto her and tell her that those kids do not care if her legs do not 
work, but I feel it is not getting into her head.  I just want to help her, if 
I can.  I feel so helpless.





      

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