I really hope that's true, Meredith. I was injured just as my life was beginning and I'm not sure how to deal with that. I was so bitter in ICU about the fact that they saved me. After a series of infections, pneumonia, both lungs collapsing in a 2 week period, and two days where my body was in a poor state and all I did was mouth "just let me die" I finally told my doc that I would refuse any additional treatments. She agreed to keep me comfortable until I passed. I then began to heal and didn't have a single complication after that.
While at Craig Hospital my mood got better and I realized I have a lot of function to work with and that the other patients there with me were my lifeline to normalcy. Now that I'm home I feel so terribly isolated and it hurts to think that I might have been able to get married and have a home of my own if I hadn't made one bad decision. Now I look at my future and see nothing except over $500,000 of bills I can't pay (I was 11 days from having insurance at my new job when I was injured), and being dependent on my parents right as they should have been retiring and enjoying each other. Every 8th I count the months (10 months on Wednesday) and look at the progress I've made, and that helps. I also look at the stigma quads deal with, the way people react to me, the fact that this is not a quad-friendly world, and that makes me angry and I want to fight. All my life I've been a fighter. Anger is fuel to keep me going, but humor is what makes it worthwhile. If you can fight the circumstances that make you angry or sad or excluded, and still have a laugh at the end of the day, there's still a good reason to hang on. I don't know if any of that made sense, but thank you all for letting me get it off my chest. Mandy I would rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach 10,000 stars how not to dance. ~EE Cummings ________________________________ From: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Monday, August 6, 2012 9:38 AM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Injury Anniversary Hi all, I'm sorry for those of you who feel bad on your anniversary. I acknowledge mine (31 yrs June 20) but I try not to dwell on it. What is the alternative? It gets better with time, don't you think? Meredith Tomorrow is my 41st anniversary. Diving accident. I tend to replay the day With a lot of what if's and if only's. I also tend to ruminate on what my life might have been had that day turned out differently. In my younger days, my mom would bake a cake for me. Sent from my iPad Begin forwarded message: Resent-From: [email protected] >From: Don Price <[email protected]> >Date: August 5, 2012 10:02:50 PM EDT >To: quadlist <[email protected]> >Subject: [QUAD-L] Injury Anniversary >Reply-To: Don Price <[email protected]> > > >Next week will mark the 30th anniversary of my spinal cord injury. I've never >really 'celebrated' or recognized the date each year--in fact, I had to ask my >parents what day it happened. I'm just curious how some of you commemorate >your accident date, or if you prefer to forget it. > >I'm remembering mine because it's also my 30th high school reunion. > >Don. >C5-6 >Tempe, AZ
