Lori and Marie, I don't know when I have ever been touched by anything as deeply as I am your stories....both are more than any human heart should endure. You are both amazing spirits with strength beyond belief. I'm sure all of us on this list extend our love and our open hearts to you. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. May God caress you in his loving arms and give you the strength to endure whatever the future may hold. God bless, my friends. Larry W.
Sent from my iPad Begin forwarded message: > From: "Lori Michaelson [email protected] [SCIC]" <[email protected]> > Date: September 2, 2015 at 4:08:16 PM EDT > To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [SCIC] Just to Let you All Know > Reply-To: [email protected] > > Dear Marie, > > > Firstly, I do not want to say a platitude like "I am so sorry to hear this" > or "You have been so brave and are so brave", etc. etc. so I will just say > that I am proud of you for being a wonderful mother to Eric when he needed > you most. I will also say that I know exactly how you feel when it comes to > dealing with family drama. Families should be supportive set of stinking > rotten scoundrels put so very many are [mine included]. > > > Your story sounds exactly like what happened to my mother that I was the one > who carried on and did so successfully until now. > > > My accident in October 1979 less than 3 months after turning 15 years old. I > was in ICU for several months, then another hospital for several months, and > then rehab. My mother did not know if she was sick before my accident but in > hindsight, I could see the signs. I remember we made a trip to Atlantic City > the summer before my accident and I remember her being terribly ill. When we > came home I remember her going to the hospital for one reason or another but > nothing was found. Then my accident happened. She was 53 years old at that > time. > > When I was in rehab she was finally diagnosed with terminal pancreatic > cancer. They only gave her a year to live. I was still 3 hours away in rehab > and had been in the hospital for eight consecutive 9 months before moving > into rehab and I was still flat on my back. Anyway, I remember my mother > sitting on my bedside telling me that she had some bad news to tell me. My > first thought was that something happened to one of my grandparents (who were > my second parents). I remember shaking my head back and forth and saying "no, > no, no." She finally held my hand and told me "Lori... Mom has cancer." At > that time I did not know a single person who had had cancer but I'll I knew > is that it was bad. Since I had been in survival mode for 9-10 months I could > barely keep up with dealing with being a quadriplegic at age 15 and turning > 16 while I was in rehab. > > Bottom line... I know that my injury exacerbated her cancer because of the > stress but, at the same time, pancreatic cancer is a death sentence in > itself. I was finally able to come back home in November 1980. My mother had > put an addition on to my sister's house for me to live in. I lived there and > began going back to high school but my mother became bedridden in the house > we had lived in (just 6-7 miles from my sister's house) and I was unable to > see her. I couldn't stand it so plans were made for me to come and live with > her even though she was on the second floor. I had just lost my father at age > 13 from liver failure. 1978, 1979, 1980 and 1981 could not have been any > worse. > > > My mother passed away 6 months after I came home from rehab. I believe she > was "hanging on" with every last thread to make sure that I was going to be > okay. Keeping in mind I was only 16 years old and just had a traumatic injury > and trying to start life over again without my mother or my father... the EMT > who saved my life (and who became a friend of the family eventually) pulled > me aside one day and told me "Lori, you need to go tell your mother that > you're going to be okay." I had no idea what I was going to be okay or not so > I just did what he thought I should do. Therefore, one day was set aside her > and I to be together. Her I cried and cried and cried the entire afternoon > and I somehow I uttered "I am going to be okay." She passed away > approximately a week later or less. > > The rest of my story I will not continue on but it is similar to what Peter > said. This is because I lost my husband (my primary caregiver) in June 2012 > from a cardiac arrest. I have been living with my eldest sister and > brother-in-law for the last 3 years. Now they have enough of me living here > which is really too bad because I have incoming caregivers morning and > evening and 2 adult nieces very nearby to help out on occasion if I need help > with meals or someone to stay with me during the afternoon or if my sister > and brother-in-law go away for a couple days. > > Further, the sister that I lived with back in 1980 after coming home from > rehab does not want me there either. And I really did not want to go there > because I left in 1980 not only because of my mother's situation but because > they live in the middle of the woods and there is no way for me to go out the > door and up and down the road or anything of the sort. I can't drive so I > would really really really be cooped up. So they have been enjoying that > addition to their house ever since my mother had put on. > > Both my sisters are much older than I am but 100% healthier than I am. I am > 51 years old and they are 13 and 15 years my senior. My eldest sister is now > 16 1/2 (the one I have been living with for the last 3 years and finally > feeling "home). My other sister (who has the addition onto her house that my > mother paid for) his 64 1/2 years old. > > What is happening now? Both my sisters and both of my adult nieces [ages 40 > and 44 respectively) and myself are getting together for "family meetings" on > rare is the safest and best place for me to go and live as independently as > possible with technology. I live in a very rural area of northeastern > Pennsylvania. When my husband and I were living in Arizona for 11 years I > thought I was in heaven because everything there is accessible and the warm > weather soothes my body. But after he died I have nowhere to go but up with > family in Pennsylvania and now they want me to "move on." Simply because he > did not want me here. I am hearing "they can do it anymore" but there is a > big difference between can't and won't. I can't fight city hall and now I > have basically no family left that gives a rat's ass about me and my care. I > also do not have any friends since I cannot drive and am pretty much > homebound because of this, that only other thing. I could still thrive living > here and I have tried telling them that I do not want to move but they want > their "retirement life" back. They can go golfing and on their yearly > vacations and bee-bop all over the place. > > I have my daughter that lives in a beautiful Golden coat and she is my last > link to my husband who was her daddy. Her daddy passed away and she looks to > me. I love her so much so wherever I go she is going to have to go with me. > She is not a service dog and it is too late for her to be one not only > because of her age and all that is going on in my life. She is the only > reason I get up in the morning besides all the online friends I have been > other quadriplegics, this group, many friends through my "Digital > Scrapbooking" online hobby, etc. etc. Other than that... my quality of life > would be zero. > > I was so stressed and distraught after losing my husband and I began to have > something I have never heard of before and that is Psychogenic Nonepileptic > Seizures. These are seizures that occurred because of stress, frustration, > fatigue, pain or all of those. I had my first one just 2 months after losing > my husband and I thought that would be the end of it. But then in March of > 2013 I began having again but they were brought on by my brother-in-law > because he has only treated me with disdain and only speaks to me when he was > reprimanded me like I'm a five-year-old child. So, it is him that really > wants me out. > > Life!!! > > Love to all of you! > > Lori Michaelson > C4/5 complete quad, almost 36 years post > Northeastern Pennsylvania > In limbo with my life. > >> On Wed, Sep 2, 2015 at 8:57 AM, 'Marie Potts' [email protected] [SCIC] >> <[email protected]> wrote: >> >> I may have been silent for a great length of time. Actually, I was >> diagnosed with breast cancer in 1992, I went into remission until 2008. >> From then on I have been fighting the cancer battle and then my son Eric >> died. >> >> >> >> In 2013, I discussed with my family doctor my treatment plans. After 4 >> bouts of chemo through the years, I didn’t want any more, the years of chemo >> took it’s bout on my body, so in order to try to recess the cancer I took >> aggressive radiation from November until January 2015. The tumors shrunk, >> then February 8, 2015, Eric died. I felt the tumors actually pop u in my >> clavicle area, actually the lymph nodes. I took 16 more week of aggressive >> chemo after Eric’s death because there was so much to do after his death. >> >> >> >> The stress of his death, and dealing with his companion and her family has >> really taken a toll on me. As many of you might not be aware, but Eric’s >> death was due to negligence. It’s a long story and I could write a book. >> Eric’s death could have been prevented, I won’t go into detail, my friends >> have been my support and sounding boards and dealing with her family and >> her. She is still allowing me to see Logan, she knows I hold the purse >> strings to the house she is living in and I believe this is the only reason. >> Sorry, not going to go into any more detail. >> >> >> >> As of last week I have finally gone on Palliative/Hospice care, Comfort >> Care and just biding my time. With the last CAT scan, the doctor couldn’t >> give me a time line. But said I may have up to one year. The cancer has >> already metastasis into my liver, the tumors are growing etc. I am ready. >> I’ve been ready and I was preparing Eric for my death and I discussed what >> I wanted to do when Eric was alive and he accepted my position. >> Unfortunately Eric died before me, something I didn’t expect, a shock to my >> system, as he was healthy. >> >> >> >> I know the moderators will continue on with this list when I am gone. I >> don’t know if there will be anyone to let you know when I will finally be >> with Eric. These last 7 months have been sheer hell, it was bad enough >> suffering from the cancer but to lose my son before me for no reason, her >> negligence has broken my heart and soul. >> >> >> >> I still feel good, just a little tired. Still going to try to live life, >> but my decision has been made. Now just waiting for the time to meet up >> with Eric. >> >> >> >> Thanks, I will let you know when things start to downgrade, but as of yet, I >> may still have a year, I won’t know because Palliative/Hospice care does not >> allow you to have any diagnostic tool such as CAT scans to find out the >> progression. It is just comfort care. >> >> >> >> Thanks again to all of you for hearing me out… Remember, I am still around >> and thank everyone of you for being a part of this wonderful family of >> Spinal Cord Injury Caregivers. >> >> >> >> >> >> Marie Potts >> >> Owner/Moderator of SCIC >> >> Son- Eric Potts C4/5 – July 27, 1998 >> >> Graduated College BS – 2001 >> >> Married to Erika 2005 >> >> Birth of Logan july 24, 2007 >> >> 2013 Eric is now coaching Lacrosse, the Sport that Paralyzed him. His son >> Logan is playing Lacrosse along with Ice Hockey >> >> Went to be with the Lord February 8, 2015 >> >> >> >> >> > > > > -- > "Petting, scratching and cuddling a dog could be soothing to the mind and > heart and deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer." ~Dean > Koontz > __._,_.___ > Posted by: Lori Michaelson <[email protected]> > Reply via web post • Reply to sender > • Reply to group • Start > a New Topic • Messages in this topic (6) > > VISIT YOUR GROUP New Members 1 > • Privacy • Unsubscribe • Terms of Use > . > > > __,_._,___
