Hi Ron & others, I see that I had quite a bit of typos in my previous e-mail but little of you who use voice recognition software understand and I did not have time to proofread last night when I wrote it.
My father was an alcoholic (probably from being a medic in World War II in Guam... where he had to sew up bodies I saw the worst of the worst but that was an excuse in my opinion since he put my mother through hell but when he wasn't drunk he was a GREAT father). Anyway, after decades of drinking it finally got to his liver and he finally died of renal failure after going into a coma and dying at the VA hospital in Syracuse New York. After my mother passed away I had the choice of moving back with one of my sisters who had an addition built onto her house (paid for by my mother as well) or moving in with my grandparents who lived on the same large property as my parents did. I chose to live with my grandparents because my sister lived up in the boonies and I could not get out and about in my wheelchair at all. Whereby my parents and grandparents lived on a property that was completely flat. My [maternal] grandparents were like my second parents and they had an extra bedroom that I stayed in when I was growing up off and on so I moved into that bedroom. Back then I was receiving Medicaid state home health aides and nurses. Because I had an indwelling catheter and required a suppository the state required nurses to be my caregivers and not a home health aides. So I had to finish high school and there were 3 different nurses who are my "caregivers" morning and evening. They would come in the morning to get my morning care done and get me ready to get picked up by the school bus that had a wheelchair lift. My grandparents had long since retired and so they were home when I got home and on weekends or during the summer they were home during the day for my meals. I began getting depressed summer afternoons because I had no one my age to do anything with and I had to go an extra year of high school with kids I didn't really know since I lost a whole year of high school. Sadly enough, there were only 2 classmates who would visit me but not very often. The kids I went to school with I were going to graduate in 1982 were starting their lives and I had to graduate with the class of 1983 because of having to go an extra year because I wanted to go to college. Because of being so depressed I contacted my physiatrist and he ordered a home health aide to come every weekday for 3 hours to do anything with me I wanted including taking me places or laying down after I got home from school when I was going to school and then get up before dinner time with my grandparents. I couldn't miss my soap opera [Guiding Light] when laying down and relaxing after all day in school! LOL. I can't remember what time my nurse came in the evening to get me ready for bed as this was 1983/1984ish. However I remember having a say in that. Because I remember one girl in my neighborhood who invited me to a wedding shower and I didn't get home until midnight or close to midnight and someone has to put me to bed then. Wow ... just by writing all of this down brings back a lot of memories. I started a 2-year community college in the fall of 1984. I graduated from there and went on to the nearby State University College to get my baccalaureate in Liberal Arts & Business. I graduated from there in 1988 with a B.S. [Bachelor of Science degree]. Before graduating from there I met my first boyfriend and that was somewhere in 1984. I actually met him through one of my afternoon home health aides been living with my grandmother. We began dating and eventually he proposed to me. My grandfather pulled me aside one day and promised me to live with them until they died. I also have my mother's diary that she was keeping since the day of my accident until she couldn't write anymore been in so much pain went that cancer. My grandfather ended up getting colon cancer and died in August of 1986. My fiancée had moved in to their house before he died and my grandfather was very happy that I had found someone and then I was, as he described, "I'm so glad to see you less despondent now Lori" as he was holding my hand. My fiancée and I finally got an apartment of our own in 1987 because... get this... my fiancée and my grandmother (my grandmother had been a cook most of her life owning her own restaurant) both wanted to help me and cook for me and they begin to get on each other's nerves. Geez... imagine that! Now it is so hard to try to find help that is affordable since I went and got a college degree and a job so after I began working I was no longer eligible for Medicaid. My fiancée took a couple college classes (marketing because he was a salesman) while I was in my four year college and we hired a morning caregiver and an afternoon caregiver after I had to stop working after being diagnosed with syringomyelia. But after 13 years he said that he did not love me "in that way" anymore. He broke down crying and crying one evening when he told me this but he promised that he would help take care of me and I was his first priority but that changed after he wanted to start looking for another relationship. To make this long story even shorter I am so glad that I found the most wonderful husband in the world and life just does not seem to be fair by him passing away so early in life (63) and therefore I lost everyone who really had a vested interest and loved me. I was just getting over my grief of losing my husband when living with my sister and brother-in-law when they asked me to "move on." I was devastated and now I am all alone except for my beautiful Golden Retriever. There are different types of love I have learned the hard way. My mother wrote in her diary that if she could have one wish granted to her she would give her [able-bodied] life so I could have my whole life ahead of me. She wrote this before she knew that her cancer was the type that was going to kill her. My grandparents were the second people who loved me more than their lives. Then my ex common-law husband and finally my husband. With all I have been through over the last year (completely unexpected) I feel like I have aged 100 years because of one negligent mistake by a nurse. My day is going quickly so that's my story in a nutshell even though there is so much more to it. ~Lori On Sun, Jan 29, 2017 at 12:05 AM, RONALD L PRACHT <[email protected]> wrote: > I love hearing your story Lori. What happened to your father? What did you > do after your mother died for care?How did you get involved with school in > those dark ages for disabled? > > Ron > > > On Saturday, January 28, 2017 9:35 PM, Lori Michaelson < > [email protected]> wrote: > > > Same as Larry. None because I was flat on my back for the longest time > with a tracheotomy and a halo. I first could only get up any manual chair > (this was 1980) and did not get my first (Everest & Jennings) wheelchair > until much later. > > My mother was dying of cancer so she sent both of my sisters up to where I > was at at rehab at Sunnyview Hospital in upper New York State to learn my > care before I went home. > > I don't know if they sent me home early because of my mother deteriorating > rapidly or because it *was* time for me to do so. > > I came home in November of 1980. Before going to rehab I was first in ICU > for around 3 months or a little longer near by my home and then after > needing my neck fused (and still having a tracheotomy) I was moved to > another nearby hospital that had a very small rehab unit for me to receive > range of motion, etc. but all of this time I was flat on my back. I was > also there at the hospital a total of 3 or 4 months before I went to rehab. > > I was injured at age 15 and did not come home until I was 16 1/2. A total > of 13 months. I then lost my mother only 6 months to pancreatic cancer that > she fought for a long long time. It took her a long time to get diagnosed > as well. I remember her getting sick before my accident but she just > thought it was the flu or a bug or something because she had periods of > nausea (unexplained) and probably some other things but being only 14 and > wrapped up in my own teenage life I wasn't paying too much attention. Then > my accident happened and it still took her a long time to get diagnosed > after I was an inpatient and diagnosed as a quadriplegic. > > I lost my father when I was only 13 so that was a terrible terrible > terrible terrible terrible 3 years. 1978, 1979 and 1981. > > While I was in rehab my mother had an addition built onto my one sister's > home and purchased a brand-new full-size Dodge van for my transportation. > > On Sat, Jan 28, 2017 at 4:00 PM, Larry Willis <[email protected]> > wrote: > > None. I couldn't even feed myself. > > Larry Willis > Retired and proud of it > > > Begin forwarded message: > > *Resent-From:* [email protected] > *From:* Bobbie Humphreys <[email protected]> > *Date:* January 28, 2017 at 5:09:05 PM EST > *To:* [email protected] > *Subject:* *[QUAD-L] Rehab/housework* > > When you al were in rehab, how much training did you get for doing > housework, like cooking 🍳 laundry, vacuuming, making a bed or grocery > shopping 🛒? > I had many classes, in OT, on how to do all of the above when I was at > Kessler Insitute. > Bobbie > > "Be the change you want to see in the world". Gandhi > > > > > -- > "Petting, scratching and cuddling a dog could be soothing to the mind and > heart and deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer." ~Dean > Koontz > > > -- "Petting, scratching and cuddling a dog could be soothing to the mind and heart and deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer." ~Dean Koontz
