W Post
 
Church signs roll the dice  getting hip with quips

 
Associated Press, Published:  December 24  
 
 
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ST. LOUIS — Pastor Mike Butzberger insists he  only had holiday spirit in 
mind when his Florida church’s marquee read:  “Christmas — Easier to spell 
than Hanukkah.” 
But after a passer-by told him she found the message offensive and a local  
television station inquired about it, the Lighthouse Baptist Church 
preacher  hustled to blunt any uproar by begrudgingly changing the sign to: 
“Jesus 
Loves  You.”



 
 
“By no means would I as human or Christian ever put anything on the sign 
with  the intention of hurting or insulting,” Butzberger told The Associated 
Press  from his church in North Palm Beach, Fla. “The purpose of the sign is 
to draw  people to God, which is, in our ‘business,’ what we’re selling.” 
Welcome to the challenge for pastors eager to update the age-old practice 
of  luring in worshippers with messages on marquees out front of the church. 
Long  the place for Gospel quotes and Christmas Eve sermon hours, now the 
signs are  often clever, pithy or funny. But pastors are finding that joking 
about religion  is a serious business, and it’s easy to cross a line. 
When Darrin Lee launched his suburban Detroit church six years ago, he had  
just 11 members, a rickety old building and a plywood board marquee. The 
sign  was replaced, thanks to a benefactor’s $5,000 donation, with a roadside 
one Lee  now uses for slogans he credits for helping his Cornerstone Baptist 
Church flock  grow to more than 100. 
“I think that sign added life to this church, saying, ‘Hey, we’re up to 
date.  We’re not some old relic church,’” he said from his church, which is 
passed  daily by about 45,000 vehicles. “When you look at other churches with 
marquees  that don’t put up messages, I think they’re missing the boat.” 
Though he has hit a few bumps. One of his slogans — “Don’t Let Worry Kill  
You. Let The Church Help” — made the rounds on Facebook and Twitter, 
leaving him  to offer the obligatory confirmation that “obviously we’re not in 
the killing  business.” One caller wanted to chat about evolution after his 
marquee read: “If  Man Came From Apes, Why Do We Still Have Apes.” 
Dozens of websites and social media sites collect pictures of church 
signage,  celebrating those that seem to work — “Many Who Seek God at the 
Eleventh Hour  Die at 10:30” — or panning others, such as, “Stop, Drop and Roll 
Doesn’t Work in  Hell.” 
Some even inspired books. Pam Paulson and her husband, Steve, took a  
four-year, 122,000-mile trek through all 50 states to chronicle interesting  
church marquees after noticing the changing signs at two churches near their  
Florida home. With a van full of hundreds of maps, it was a slow go after the  
Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, with churches seldom straying from patriotic 
themes.  But around the middle of the decade, Pam Paulson said, cleverer 
messages began  emerging. 
“A lot of people we talked to thought it was just a good way to get people 
to  at least acknowledge their church. It was true,” the 59-year-old 
Methodist said.  “We weren’t looking for the humorous, but they were always the 
ones that caught  our attention.” 
And that’s the point, according to Wes Henson, pastor at the Walnut Street  
Baptist Church in southern Illinois city of Carbondale. He admitted he once 
drew  an earful from a woman angry about the potential sexual innuendo when 
his  marquee read, “Waking up and shouting, ‘Oh God’ is not the same as 
being in  church.” 
“I guess I did that on a day I felt bold and confident,” Henson said. “But 
 when you have something on there that catches attention, at least for a 
moment,  it means at least they’re thinking about your church.” 
Churches largely are left on their own when it comes to marquees. The 13  
million-member United Methodist Church doesn’t tell its congregations what to 
 write, said Larry Holland, the church’s global communications chief. But 
it  offers a big suggestion: Make them welcoming, non-judgmental and 
theologically  accurate. 
“We do take them seriously because they are a communications level. We  
consider them to be grassroots,” Holland said. 
But the messages should be fresh and avoid negative slogans, such as “’hell
’s  waiting for you’ kinda thing,” said Woody Murray, a former advertising 
agency  worker who in recent years wrote a column about church signs. 
“A clever message wears old in a few days, like television commercials that 
 have a joke,” said Murray, a suburban Nashville Baptist now working for 
Gideons  International. “Once you see it, you don’t wanna see it again.” 
Sources of the signage run the gamut, from sermons to pithy themes found on 
 road trips. At West Salem Trinity United Methodist Church in southern 
Illinois’  Mount Vernon, Brad Henson gets much of his guidance from the 
Internet 
— making  the task far easier than when he used a 3-inch-thick book of 
illustrations. 
Henson, whose church sign has sported such messages as “A closed mouth  
gathers no foot” and “Dairy Queen is not the only place that has awesome  
Sundays,” acknowledged that motorists who see his signs may never come into his 
 
church. 
But that’s not his goal. Henson said it’s simply about preaching in a  
different, sometimes softer, way with messages that provoke thought or provide  
comfort to those passing by. 
“That’s an awesome ministry, whether they darken the doors of our church 
or  not,” he said. “That’s really powerful as far as I’m  concerned.”

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