London Telegraph Feb. 21, 2015 Just what would a free-market Bible look like? Well, very much like the Gospel According to Nadine Dorries (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/journalists/michael-deacon/) By _Michael Deacon_ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/journalists/michael-deacon/) 6:05AM GMT 21 Feb 2015 Nadine Dorries – the outspoken Tory MP for Mid Bedfordshire – is unhappy with the Church of England’s bishops. This week the bishops wrote a joint open letter expressing concern about poverty in Britain today. The “poor and vulnerable”, they wrote, must not be made into “scapegoats”; it saddened them to see those on benefits “described in terms that imply they are undeserving”. In response, _Mrs Dorries accused the bishops of political bias_ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/11417226/Tory-fury-over-Church- of-England-letter.html) . Their views, she said, were “very definite Left-wing leaning”. As a Christian herself, Mrs Dorries will know that Jesus too had a lot to say about the plight of the poor, and the sins of the rich. So perhaps, rather than argue with bishops, her wisest course would be to write and publish her own version of The Bible – one that redresses the political balance by promoting free markets and wealth creation, and cuts out all the “very definite Left-leaning” stuff about driving the money-changers from the temple and excluding the rich from heaven. Below are some sample chapters that Mrs Dorries might find more to her taste. The Gospel According to St Matthew, Chapter 19 23 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall actually find it really easy to enter into the kingdom of heaven. 24 Really easy. As easy as a needle passing through the eye of a camel. 25 Previous versions of this Gospel got that line about the camel and the eye and the needle mixed up. I am glad of the opportunity to set the record straight. The Gospel According to St John, Chapter 2 13 And the Jews’ Passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem, 14 And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: 15 And Jesus saith unto them, Good on you, chaps. It is about time we stopped bashing the money-changers in this country and started celebrating entrepreneurship. 16 And unto them Jesus pledged to push for light-touch regulation in the field of Judaean money-changing. 17 And he saith unto them that sold doves, What marvellous doves – and at such competitive prices! Please do feel free to make my Father’s house an house of merchandise. It is all part of His long-term economic plan for Judea to win the global race. The Gospel According to St Luke, Chapter 6 20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God. 21 Having said that, however, blessed also be ye rich, for ye have pots of money. 22 Which ye earned through your own hard work, unlike ye shirkers sleeping off a life on benefits with the blinds drawn. 23 It is just typical of the something-for-nothing culture left behind by the last Labour government. The General Epistle of James, Chapter 5 1 Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you. 2 Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are moth-eaten. 3 Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. 4 All of the above is exactly the kind of envious anti-business rhetoric that is holding this country back. -- -- Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community <[email protected]> Google Group: http://groups.google.com/group/RadicalCentrism Radical Centrism website and blog: http://RadicalCentrism.org --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
[RC] Re-writing the Bible to satisfy free market politicos
BILROJ via Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community Mon, 23 Feb 2015 12:23:30 -0800
