from the site: Rude Poet Five things only people who grew up with crazies can understand _March 17, 2015_ (http://www.rudepoet.com/five-things-only-people-who-grew-up-with-crazies-can-understand/) _Alina Eerolainen_ (http://www.rudepoet.com/author/admin/) (http://www.rudepoet.com/five-things-only-people-who-grew-up-with-crazies-can-understand/#respond)
It’s true most of us had a less than perfect childhood ; after all, nobody can escape life without disappointments and hurt feelings. Yet in some families , you have such wild dysfunction that you begin to think jumping off airplanes or swimming with sharks might actually help calm your nerves. Below are five things only those who grew up with the truly crazy can understand. 1. You naturally check out the best escape routes and plan your exit in case of an emergency. Now, you haven’t been training with navy seals or chasing terrorists around the world. It’s just your second nature to anticipate a sudden explosion of anger, so without realizing you perform a quick scan of your surroundings. On a positive note – you really might be well suited for a career in the army or at least performing risk assessments for your local health and safety inspector. 2. You’re always prepared for the worst. You’re the person with an emergency backpack at the ready. Depending on your age the contents will vary – a four year old has yet to learn stuffed animals aren’t that useful whereas by eight you have probably acquired at least a Swiss army knife and a map. The bonus from this is, as a grown up you have some practice in the unlikely event of societal collapse ; you’re probably the one with iodine tablets stashed away or at least several months’ worth of beef jerky and peanut butter in the basement, just in case whole foods market suddenly disappears from the face of the earth. 3. You develop a very dark sense of humor and a morbid sense of curiosity. Having learnt to expect the unexpected, nothing seems that shocking anymore.Your uncle claiming his miniature pinzer dog killed a black bear ? Sure, why not. Mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts , cousins all sleeping together? Free love baby – don’t be so uptight, even if that means your cousin is actually your brother. Being threatened with suicide unless you pick up the phone? One day, you will feel tempted to say ‘just do it’ and mean it – even though, rationally you know it’s never OK to say that ,and therefore, you never actually will. Despite these experiences being painful at the time, perhaps a career in the emergency services or mental health is suitable for you – after all, learning to calm down a suicidal person in the midst of a psychotic episode is an acquired skill. 4. You find peace and quiet suspicious. You mean I can leave my things unattended and nobody will destroy them? I’ m allowed to disagree with you and you won’t threaten me with a gun or a knife? We can have dinner without anyone screaming because of the eternal unfairness of not being the first born in the family? At first, it takes a lot of inner convincing to let yourself just be and not scan every person’s movements and facial expressions for signs of sudden fits of rage. But thankfully, you get used to it. Besides, somehow you already knew there was something better out there, that people who are kind, generous and caring do exist. It’s just a matter of letting yourself trust other people and yourself, no matter how much every part of you is anxiously telling you to run away and hide. 5. You are desperate to be perfect in the hopes that if you succeed , they will love and accept you. This usually combines with a sense of responsibility for people who are very happy for you to waste your life trying to save them from themselves. It’ s like building your house on quicksand – ultimately leaving you stuck, unable to move in any direction – until you make the decision to let others pay the price for their mistakes, even when that price might be death. Very dark and perhaps sad, yes – on a positive note this constant fear of someone dying leads you to appreciate life more and might infect you with a love for sad poetry or music. Yet, there is always hope Sad? Perhaps a little. Don’t despair though – none of the above are fixed positions. The magic of the human mind is in its adaptability. Perhaps something was too painful to remember and your mind simply stored a memory into the unconscious, not to be retrieved until a later date when you’ve developed more mental strength to deal with whatever emotions arise. And even when things do seem unfair and people appear to do their best to drive you mad, you always have a choice. You can look at the past clearly, seek to understand yourself and your reactions and change the narrative from one of despair and victimhood to one of endurance and hope. By doing that, you’ll be able to give yourself the most important gift, the basis of all happiness and success: the ability to trust yourself. Your own intuition, your own values – not the ones you had to accept to survive. To break free from the twisted circus of yesterday, your most urgent task is to discover who you really are and what you believe in; and then learn to assert your right to live in accordance of who you are. It’s truly an opportunity – not a chore, even when it hurts. Because, in the end, there will come a day when you can look back and laugh at all the craziness, and smile with anticipation of all the good things that are yet to come. -- -- Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community <[email protected]> Google Group: http://groups.google.com/group/RadicalCentrism Radical Centrism website and blog: http://RadicalCentrism.org --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
