Ernie:
Wish that I had some kind of knowledge of practical psychology to share with you. For that matter, to give counsel to myself sometimes. Most of what I do know in the head-shrinking department is highly specialized or theoretical. Which is to say that I'm not much when it comes to counseling. Maybe we should turn to Chris; wonder what he charges per hour. ----------------------- One of the nice things about the holiday season is that it can be a time for miracles. No guarantee, of course, but once in a while the extraordinary does happen. This time, last year, I was just getting to the place where it seemed that it no longer was necessary to contemplate my forthcoming death. If you ever want to sober up quick, just think about what could go wrong that could result in your demise. This year, so far, it was kind of a small miracle to be asked to have Thanksgiving with Evangeline and her family, or what survives of her family. She had an invitation to dine with someone or other but changed her plans for reasons unknown and decided to ask me -which, as sometimes happens with her, helped me climb out of a pit. One thing is for sure, not that long ago I was sort of undergoing "shell shock" after our conversation, a delayed reaction that was only partly calmed by writing that essay. I have been trying to come to terms with whatever it may have been that was my part in your being upset with me during that last phone conversation. Some things could be identified easily enough, I make mistakes, and I sometimes come across far too strongly, but that still left a lot unaccounted for. That was when it seemed clear to me that you were dealing with all kinds of things of which I have no knowledge. In any case, I simply cannot cope with another "conversation" like the one we had a couple of weeks ago. Please, no apologies, you are going through something over which you have little control. But that is a problem that I do not want to deal with because, as far as problems go, I have more than enough all on my own. I need some time to let memories of your conversation, 'harangue' to be objective about it, sad to say, gradually fade away. Which should happen; that is not at all how you usually are as a person, indeed, it is the opposite of you as I have known you ever since 2004. Which has always been as a really good and decent person. ------------------------------------------------------------------- As far as mother troubles go, I can sympathize. I will never get over what my mother once said to me, a few months before her expiration date came due. Namely: That she would not heed any of my advice because I was "not worth enough money." Some fraction of that hurtful remark can be written off due to her worsening dementia at the time, but no way would a kind and caring woman say any such thing -which was only very rarely how anyone would ever describe my mother. She was self-centered to the point of obsession just about all of her life., never, for a moment seeing anything wrong with her outlook. During that same period of time she and my (former) brother had taken me to church now and then; I had no other way to get to that church, which was where Evangeline attended in those days. One Sunday mother was irritated, more irritated than usual to be forthright, and she announced in a rather nasty and edgy tone, "this is the last time we are taking you to church, don't ask again." This was not long after mother, after weeks during which Evangeline visited mother on a regular basis helping her with various things around the house, even picking up her medicines so that an extra trip to the store was not necessary, was proclaiming how Christian faith was something good. There were times when Evangeline shared her faith in Jesus with mother, and at one point mother even asked me something about the Bible. But along came that one Sunday and , in effect, "how dare you ask for a ride to church" Nothing at all penetrated her armor plated skull and nothing was about to minimize mother's sickening self-centeredness. To give you a tiny peek at what I went through during the last years of her life. There was a lot more, much of it considerably worse. Which is to say, given what you have said about your mother, maybe you don't have it as bad as it now may seem. Of all the mothers I have known in my years it must be said that the one I got was close to the bottom of the list. Maybe this is scant comfort, but just sayin' ....... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- About your retreat at the monastery, sounds like a really good place to stay for time to reflect on things and try to think of some good way out of a serious problem. Sorry, but I had not heard of Bede before you mentioned him. I am waaaaay behind in my reading. Just about all of my discretionary time is now spent in moving my project along, which has become a herculean task. There is far more to it than I supposed would be necessary even as recently as August. Which is one reason why I sometimes take breaks to work on much shorter length projects, partly to kill the tedium. But enough on such subjects for today. Christmas is approaching and will be here sooner than we may suppose. Maybe we each will find a miracle of some kind in the weeks ahead. Your friend Billy ________________________________ From: Centroids <[email protected]> Sent: Sunday, November 25, 2018 5:59 PM To: Billy Rojas Subject: Bede Re: Friday Belated Reply Sounds good. I’m making progress on my counseling with my mother, so I should be in a better place in January. Also, I did a silent retreat at a Big Sur monastery, and discussed Buddhism with the abbot. Have you read Bede Griffith’s? Apparently he wrote a lot on Eastern Christianity: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bede_Griffiths Bede Griffiths<https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bede_Griffiths> en.m.wikipedia.org Bede Griffiths OSB Cam (17 December 1906 – 13 May 1993), born Alan Richard Griffiths and also known by the end of his life as Swami Dayananda ("bliss of... More Hindu than Buddhist, though, so perhaps not as relevant for the Negiro project. E Sent from my iPhone On Nov 23, 2018, at 22:20, Billy Rojas <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> wrote: Timing can be important in any number of contexts. If late Fall or early Winter is not a good time for conversations between us, hopefully things will become much better in the weeks that follow. -- -- Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community <[email protected]> Google Group: http://groups.google.com/group/RadicalCentrism Radical Centrism website and blog: http://RadicalCentrism.org --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
