The following has been around for many years; it first surfaced in the mid 1950s. The following is a somewhat shortened version of the original.
RE: Letter of application for employment Dear Sirs: I understand that a position as pastor is open in your church and I would like to apply for it. I have some qualifications for the work, and this letter is an honest review of my past service in the ministry. I am almost 60 years of age and have been in the ministry for about 25 years. I’ve never lasted very long in any one place, but I did stay in one church three years. People say my health is not good, but I ignore these kinds of irritants and press on anyway, believing my ill health is actually an advantage to keep my big ego in check. I’m a strong leader and have usually wound up in charge of everything I’ve ever done. I’ll be frank with you, I’m not always popular, and have been expelled from a number of cities where I ministered. But in every case it was because of a trouble-making opposition I seem to get everywhere I go. I just preach the truth and some people get angry when they hear it. You may hear about the time when I confronted the highest leader in my denomination to his face -- in front of an entire church body. But he was clearly in the wrong and he backed down. It is that simple: I was right, and he was wrong. I spoke the truth, as I always do. And my truth won the day. I have seldom been able to work full-time in the ministry, so I have usually had employment outside of my ministry to help support me. In some churches I received no salary at all, and occasionally my job even provided for paying the staff too, though that was not the average situation. Don't the idea though that I worked only with large churches. Most of the churches I've worked with were small, and all of them were able to meet in a house or small hall. . I have had some success at church planting, though some believe my methods are wrong. What I do is enter a new city and find the local religious gathering. I attend there until I get an opportunity to teach or speak, then I show them how their doctrine is wrong and the doctrine I teach is correct. This usually causes a lot of division, and those who side with me generally split off the original group and with that core group I start a new church. In case you follow up on my references you may discover some questionable events. So I need to give my side on these stories. Yes, it is true that I am guilty of conspiracy to commit murder. But that was before I accepted Christ. And it is true that because of several problems since becoming a Christian, I have been put in jail. But most of these were short stays,.. But I’ve never given up on my faith—even as a convict.. Spiritually I have had an incredible journey. Early in my ministry I had "another world" experience—which I do not even talk about. And you need not worry about a charismatic influence, for I am a hard-liner on that issue, always limiting speaking in tongues to a few at a time, and though I speak with tongues myself. I never do so in public meetings. I have always worked in a staff ministry, and usually expect a staff as normal. If your church can't pay them, I will figure out a way to have them work directly for me. My staff is generally loyal to me, in fact I demand it. There may be other rumors and accusations about me that you hear when following up my references Strong leaders have strong opposition. So, I wish to address these other rumors and reports directly to you as follows: * I can get along with church leaders, so long as they are not narrow-minded and legalistic. * I am not a liberal on issues of behavior and keeping church traditions * The single woman we stayed in that first week in Europe was a new convert and she had said, "If you consider me a believer, come home and stay with me." Besides. there were several of us anyway, and she had servants there, also. * I did not use a new-age seeker-approach to reach the academic community. I merely started where they were -in belief in an unknown god. * My involvement in casting out demons is not the primary focus of my ministry * I am not personally benefiting from my ministry and not making tons of money off of it -I do not even break even. I hope you will consider my application. Sincerely, Paul the Apostle -- -- Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community <[email protected]> Google Group: http://groups.google.com/group/RadicalCentrism Radical Centrism website and blog: http://RadicalCentrism.org --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
