Bonnie, as an author, I have to tell you your story was excellent.  The only 
suggestions I would have is to check your spelling and sentence structure.  
You have a  wonderful concept there, and a story that kept me glued to the 
screen  until the end.  Please be sure and send the rest.  I want to know 
what happens!  Good show!

Janet aka shadrach
author of 
Flat Pan Jack Adventure series
website:  http://www.christianbuilt.com/flatpanjack/home_page
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