ACFP Articles Conversations with Kids
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday? STUDENT: Seven. TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT: Nine. TEACHER: That�s impossible. STUDENT: No, it isn�t, teacher. I�m eight today. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE : Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS : George! TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn�t have ten years ago. WILLY : Me! SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum? BILLY : No, I�m Billy Anderson. TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? ALFRED : I get up early. TEACHER: Didn�t you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes, sir. TEACHER: And didn�t I promise to punish you if you didn�t? STUDENT: Yes, sir,but since I broke my promise, you don�t have to keep yours. TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY : Well, I�m a lot closer to the ground then you are. HAROLD : Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn�t do? TEACHER: Of course not. HAROLD : Good, because I didn�t do my homework. TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, �School Ahead, Go Slow.� That�s what I did. TEACHER: I hope I didn�t see you looking at Don�s paper. DON : I hope you didn�t either. GARY : I don�t think I deserve a zero on this test. TEACHER: I agree, but it�s the lowest mark I can give you. MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test? JUNIOR: Because of absence. MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test? JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was. SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card. TEACHER: Well, at least there�s one thing I can say about your son. FATHER : What�s that? TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn�t be cheating. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. SAMMY : You can�t fool me, teacher. Snakes don�t have feet. HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE : Don�t bite any. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with �I�. ELLEN : I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say �I am.� ELLEN : All right. �I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.� TEACHER: Max, use �defeat,� �defence� and �detail� in a sentence. MAX : The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail. TEACHER: Toby, what are you doing under your desk? TOBY : Didn�t you tell us to read Dr.Jekyll and Hyde (hide)? The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program. �There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning,� he snapped. �Wouldn�t it be better to hear one at a time?� voice shouted, �Okay---you start.� MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you? JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money. TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get? SASHA : A new bike. TEACHER : If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? VINCENT : One dollar. TEACHER(sadly): You don�t know your arithmetic. VINCENT(sadly): You don�t know my father. TEACHERS : If I had 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what would I have? CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands! TEACHER: Why are you late? AMOS : I lost my quarter. TEACHER: And why are you late, Oliver? OLIVER : I was standing on it. �Isn�t the principal a dummy!� said a boy to a girl. �Say, do you know who I am?� asked the girl. �No.� �I�m the principal�s daughter.� �And do you know who I am?� asked the boy. �No,� she replied. �Thank goodness!� _______ Let the Golden Rule be your daily rule. Please pray for your list sponsor: http://eBible.org/mpj/ To unsubscribe, send "unsubscribe rangernet" to [EMAIL PROTECTED] or visit http://rangernet.org/subscribe.htm http://rangernet.org
