Never mind what you have learned or seen watching "Gomer
Pyle, USMC" and "Sergeant Pain." Leadership is not yelling at people. Yelling
at your boys doesn’t accomplish anything and usually does more harm than
good.
Inexperienced and unskilled leaders will yell at their
boys when they are doing something wrong. They yell because they’re trying to
impress their peers, show domination, slam the blame on someone else or they
see the mistake and don’t want it to happen again. But keep in mind that your
boys make mistakes. It’s either they don’t know better, they simply forgot or
they don’t care.
If your boys don’t know better- that is, if they don’t
know how to do something right or forgot the correct way. Yelling at them
isn’t helping because they already feel badly about being wrong. Your boys
don’t want to make mistakes, but mistakes sometimes happen to the best of us.
In this case, the solution is not to yell, but to remind them what needs to be
done, how to do it, and why it’s important.
Most of the time , boys just need a reminder of what is
expected and then a chance to try it again. If you yell at them for making a
honest mistake, you’ll only make them feel stupid and useless. This will make
them resent and dislike you. No one enjoys being around or working for
someone who makes them feel stupid and useless.
Sometimes a boy’s mistake will be your fault, not
theirs. If you don’t train them properly or don’t give them complete
information on what is expected of them. How can you yell at them for failing?
The fault is yours and your boys will know that as well.
I remember one time we went camping. As we got
there early and started unpacking everything. My wife was with us and made a
remark that I forgot the tent poles. I was already tired and frustrated about
the day and I exploded, throwing stuff out of the car, yelling at the boys to
start setting up camp and screaming at others to go get firewood. I was
trying to point the blame on everyone else for not getting everything
ready. Then I drove the car into a wet spot and got
stuck. At that time I was on the verge of hitting anything around me
either humans or a vehicle. I sure wasn't the model Ranger and sure
didn't need to be a leader of boys. I looked into the rear view mirror and
saw something that I didn't like. A angry man out of control with my emotions
and not letting myself relax and enjoy life. I lost it and needed to repent. I
laid my head down on the steering wheel and asked God to forgive me and
I truly repented. I felt like a fool and most likely looked like one
too. Did I accomplish anything through yelling? No, I only accomplished
making everyone else feel bad. I had to calm down, get my composer back, and
apologize to everyone there. They excepted my apology, made the best of it,
and we had fun the rest of the weekend. Yelling can cause disorder and
uncomfortable situations if we can’t control our behavior.
Finally, what good does it do to yell at someone who doesn’t
care to do the right thing? If he doesn’t care enough about what he’s suppose
to do in the first place, then he sure doesn’t care about your yelling. In
fact, you taking the time to yell at him may be giving him a thrill. You're
certainly giving him a lot of attention, aren’t you?
There are times that yelling is appropriate, but mostly
those times are when you want to get someone’s attention when their mind is
wondering. For instance, if little Ranger Johnny is staring at the birds
during flag raising. But this is merely to get his attention so that you can
explain his mistakes in a normal tone and get back on focused with what you
are teaching. I ask you to reevaluate your thoughts about yelling, and use
it in a positive way. Like shout "Great job boys!" or "Win Boys
Win!". You can even surprise a boy with your voice by acting very
serious. Them tell little Johnny Ranger come to "Front and Center, NOW!"
Of course, everyone stops and listens and wonders what is the
Commander mad about. Then when that Boy is standing in front of the crowd
trembling. You hold your hand out to shake and say his full name as you
say, " I am so proud of you and want everyone in this place to
know that I think your improvements are really coming around. I want
to thank you personally for working to be a better Ranger." Most likely
everyone will clap after that and the boy's concept of hearing you yell has
changed. Now when he hears you holler, his ears will perk up and listen.
I challenge everyone of you to look at those boys
you are having problems with. If not the whole outpost and take a survey to
find out if they are living with their real moms and dads, together. I would
guess about 85 percent of our outpost are coming from broken homes and
they get enough negative response from adults, guardians, or peers. So watch
your vocal cords and put them to better use.
Next week Part 4 of 5 of the
Leadership series
Then we start a 3 part series study
of the patrol system! Don't miss out.
