We've all sat around a campfire or table and passed around old Ranger stories about one another, like the time someone's toenails got painted while they were sleeping, or the time someone planted a big ol' kiss on Fred's cheek at National Council, or the time someone slipped lard in the icecream during the ettiquette class at National Academy, etc. I figured that since this list was a sort of a campfire discussion an' all, that I would take great pleasure in recounting one of these stories, (even though I was not there myself- just happened to be there a couple times while it was bein' told), and that perhaps some of you may get a kick out of reading it. Being as how I was not actually there to witness this myself, and furthermore, being that I have in times past been touted as somewhat of a creative writer, (who knows why) there could conceivably be found some degree of embellishment and or literary license taken herein, to which purpose I provide this disclaimer. Albeit, the story goes as follows: Before the North Texas District Royal Rangers and the North Texas District Council of the Assemblies of God had thier own campground, the rangers used to hold thier annual Pow Wow on the Brazos River. It was, I believe, at this location that the following true story occurred some years ago. The scene was at the evening's council fire area, just prior to the night's pageant and service. Whether it was the first or second evening, I do not know. What I am told, however, is that the mood and tone that was set was a very serious, somber, and impressive one. A great hush of anticipation hovered over the crowd as the preparations were made. A sense of excitment and expectation filled the air. The boys mouths were wide open in awe and wonder as they awaited what would happen next. There was only one problem...they were having a hard time getting the council fire going. There was smoke, but no fire. Actors waited in the wings. Frantic, hurried preparations were made. More wood was gathered. More lamp oil was poured on. More matches struck and applied to the smoldering heap of logs, twigs, and sticks that by this time should have been a roaring fire, illuminating the entire area. At the center of the action was the ever faithful Deputy District Commander, Dwain Klopfenstein. Now, we don't know why some things happen, or why they happen as they do. They just do. God works in mysterious ways. As far as I can tell, no one knows why what happened next happened the way it did, or how it happened, it just did. Some say it was exertion, or strain from bending over too fast. Some say it was the campfire beans that were consumed prior to the council fire. How much prior, I do not know, but some prior, to be certain. Prior enough for the beans to take the effect that they are touted for, that's for sure. I think that it was probably a combination of both, judging from accounts that I have heard, and what I have learned of Commander Dwain from knowing him these last few years. Now, these accounts differ somewhat, but I'm fairly certain that the events that transpired next went something like this: As I said, there was a hush of anticipation over the crowd. It was very dark. The tone that was set was one of awe and expectation. Commander Dwain was scrambling to get the fire going before the boys grew restless and they lost the mood that they had worked so hard to achieve. He stood facing the smoldering heap. He turns around, bends over and picks up some more firewood. At just this moment, Commander Dwain's rear gunner let's go with a big report. Now, I've never been to the camp at the Brazos river, but I suspect that they must have had a great natural ampitheater there; because from all accounts, this report was greatly amplified, and easily heard by all present. Methane gas being what it is, and considering that most of us have some degree of firsthand knowledge of the properties thereof, and open flame being what it is, it is not hard for one to comprehend what happened in the very next instant. Especially when one considers the three necessary elements required for fire to occur- which are fuel, heat, and oxygen- and even more so when one takes into consideration the volatile properites of methane gas and the results which can occur when exposed to open flame. By all reports, at the very moment that Commander Dwain bent over to pick up that wood, rear-end facing the fire, and as he was heard venting his griefs over dinner, the council fire burst into an amazing display of flame, and continued to burn for the remainder of the night. Also, in the moments subsequent, there erupted from the crowd such a raucous round of applause and laughter that it took nearly thirty minutes to regain the somber, serious mood for which they had worked so hard to achieve in the first place, and nearly as long for the staff to regain the level of composure needed to conduct the council fire. This, my friends, is how to get a council fire going. Clint Grant North Texas District Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com |
