> Unfortunately this is toooooo true......... > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > -- > ------------------- > > > The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to > make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the > evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and > two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build > an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications > for the ark. > > "OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the > blueprints, "I'm your man." > > "Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better > have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!" > > Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to > fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his > yard, weeping, and there was no ark. > > "Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed > into the ground right beside Noah. > > "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were > some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's > construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire > an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with > him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system." > > "My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances > by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from > the city planning board." > > "Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because > there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to > convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service > that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me > catch them, so no owls." > > "Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal > rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind." > > "Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't > complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on > your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they > had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being." > > "Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. > I sent them a globe!" > > "Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal > Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to > hire." > > "The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave > the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some > kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less > than five years." > > With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow > arched across the sky. > > Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to > destroy the world?" he asked hopefully. > > "No," said the Lord, "the government already has." > > > _______ To unsubscribe, send "unsubscribe rangernet" to [EMAIL PROTECTED] "Eat the hay & spit out the sticks!" RTKB&G4JC! Autoresponder: [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://rangernet.org
