At 10:55 AM 24/04/1999 -0400, you wrote: > > My question is: > Who remembers the names of all of the ballplayers on the team with > Who on first? Abbott & Costello: Who's on first? Abbott:�� Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. The Yankee's manager ��������� gave me a job as coach for as long as your on the team. Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players. Abbott:�� I certainly do. Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me ��������� their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team. Abbott:�� Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give ��������� these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names. Costello: You mean funny names? Abbott:�� Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean... Costello: His brother Daffy Abbott:�� Daffy Dean... Costello: And their French cousin. Abbott:�� French? Costello: Goofe' Abbott:�� Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, ��������� What's on second, I Don't Know is on third... Costello: That's what I want to find out. Abbott:�� I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. Costello: Are you the manager? Abbott:�� Yes. Costello: You gonna be the coach too? Abbott:�� Yes. Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names. Abbott:�� Well I should. Costello: Well then who's on first? Abbott:�� Yes. Costello: I mean the fellow's name. Abbott:�� Who. Costello: The guy on first. Abbott:�� Who. Costello: The first baseman. Abbott:�� Who. Costello: The guy playing... Abbott:�� Who is on first! Costello: I'm asking you who's on first. Abbott:�� That's the man's name. Costello: That's who's name? Abbott:�� Yes. Costello: Well go ahead and tell me. Abbott:�� That's it. Costello: That's who? Abbott:�� Yes. PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman? Abbott:�� Certainly. Costello: Who's playing first? Abbott:�� That's right. Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Abbott:�� Every dollar of it. Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base. Abbott:�� Who. Costello: The guy that gets... Abbott:�� That's it. Costello: Who gets the money... Abbott:�� He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and coll- ��������� ects it. Costello: Who's wife? Abbott:�� Yes. PAUSE Abbott:�� What's wrong with that? Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how ��������� does he sign his name? Abbott:�� Who. Costello: The guy. Abbott:�� Who. Costello: How does he sign... Abbott:�� That's how he signs it. Costello: Who? Abbott:�� Yes. PAUSE Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base. Abbott:�� No. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott:�� Who's on first. Costello: One base at a time! Abbott:�� Well, don't change the players around. Costello: I'm not changing nobody! Abbott:�� Take it easy, buddy. Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base? Abbott:�� That's right. Costello: Ok. Abbott:�� All right. PAUSE Costello: What's the guy's name on first base? Abbott:�� No. What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott:�� Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott:�� He's on third, we're not talking about him. Costello: Now how did I get on third base? Abbott:�� Why you mentioned his name. Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing ��������� third? Abbott:�� No. Who's playing first. Costello: What's on base? Abbott:�� What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott:�� He's on third. Costello: There I go, back on third again! PAUSE Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it. Abbott:�� Alright, what do you want to know? Costello: Now who's playing third base? Abbott:�� Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: What am I putting on third? Abbott:�� No. What is on second. Costello: You don't want who on second? Abbott:�� Who is on first. Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta outfield? Abbott:�� Sure. Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott:�� Why. Costello: I just thought I'd ask you. Abbott:�� Well, I just thought I'd tell ya. Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field. Abbott:�� Who's playing first. Costello: I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the ��������� guy's name in left field? Abbott:�� No, What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott:�� Who's on first! Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott:�� Why. Costello: Because! Abbott:�� Oh, he's center field. PAUSE Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team? Abbott:�� Sure. Costello: The pitcher's name? Abbott:�� Tomorrow. Costello: You don't want to tell me today? Abbott:�� I'm telling you now. Costello: Then go ahead. Abbott:�� Tomorrow! Costello: What time? Abbott:�� What time what? Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching? Abbott:�� Now listen. Who is not pitching. Costello: I'll break your arm if you say who's on first!!! I want to know ��������� what's the pitcher's name? Abbott:�� What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: Gotta a catcher? Abbott:�� Certainly. Costello: The catcher's name? Abbott:�� Today. Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching. Abbott:�� Now you've got it. Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team. PAUSE Costello: You know I'm a catcher too. Abbott:�� So they tell me. Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitch- ��������� ing on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter ��������� bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, ��������� I'm gonna throw the guy out at first. So I pick up the ball and ��������� throw it to who? Abbott:�� Now that's the first thing you've said right. Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about! PAUSE Abbott:�� That's all you have to do. Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base. Abbott:�� Yes! Costello: Now who's got it? Abbott:�� Naturally. PAUSE Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. ��������� Now who has it? Abbott:�� Naturally. Costello: Who? Abbott:�� Naturally. Costello: Naturally? Abbott:�� Naturally. Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Abbott:�� No you don't you throw the ball to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott:�� That's different. Costello: That's what I said. Abbott:�� Your not saying it... Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott:�� You throw it to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott:�� That's it. Costello: That's what I said! Abbott:�� You ask me. Costello: I throw the ball to who? Abbott:�� Naturally. Costello: Now you ask me. Abbott:�� You throw the ball to Who? Costello: Naturally. Abbott:�� That's it. Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is ��������� drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball ��������� and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know ��������� throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and ��������� hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third ��������� and I don't give a darn! Abbott:�� What? Costello: I said I don't give a darn! Abbott:�� Oh, that's our shortstop. THE END ---- ����� You are subscribed to RangerNet. To unsubscribe, send email to ������� [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the words 'unsubscribe rangernet' ���������������������� in the body of the message. ����������� <http://www.rangernet.org/>http://www.rangernet.org/�� ***�� Ad Dare Sevire _______ To unsubscribe, send "unsubscribe rangernet" to [EMAIL PROTECTED] "Eat the hay & spit out the sticks!" RTKB&G4JC! Autoresponder: [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://rangernet.org
