in honor of one of my favorite movie << You might be a Redneck Jedi if... You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. Wookies are offended by your B.O. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets. You use your lightsaber to clean fish. More than half the droids you own don't function. The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q. You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married. Your moonshine is really made on the moon. Sandpeople back down from your mama. You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI. A Wookie has told you that you need to shave. You don't think the Ewoks are primitive. You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow. You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper. There is a blaster rack in the back of his landspeeder. Your master has ever asked you: "Now my finger you will pull, mmmmmm?" You have fuzzy dice hanging in the cockpit of your X-Wing. You've asked an Ewok to help you go coon hunting. You call the Emporer "That old ugly dude in the house coat." You think that Jabba the Hutt really knows how to pick up good looking chicks. You've ever given someone a wedgie by using the force. You own a pink flamingo with blaster holes in it. You didn't read the whole Jedi manual because there were no pictures. You have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder. You feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. >>
In a message dated 99-05-17 00:32:39 EDT, Bethie 777 writes: << Your favorite meals on Dagoba incorporate native snakes. You have fuzzy dice hanging in the cockpit of your X-Wing. You've asked an Ewok to help you go coon hunting. You bought hanging air fresheners for your friend's X-Wing at Christmas time. You use the "O" on stop signs to sight in your new blaster. You call the Emporer "That old ugly dude in the house coat." Your favorite bar caters primarily to smugglers and bounty hunters. You think that Jabba the Hutt really knows how to pick up good looking chicks. You've got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle. Your initiation into the Rebellion required parallel parking the Millenium Falcon. You've ever given someone a wedgie by using the force. You're flying a ship that has no original parts. Parts of a TIE fighter you blew up hang as a trophy in your living room. The cake at your wedding was sliced with a light saber. You own a pink flamingo with blaster holes in it. >>
You might be a Redneck Jedi if... You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." Your Jedi robe is camouflage. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. Wookies are offended by your B.O. You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot." You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene. If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle." You use your lightsaber to pick your teeth. At least one section of your X-Wing is Bondo colored. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force. You lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit. You use your lightsaber to clean fish. The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it. More than half the droids you own don't function. The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q. You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married. You used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot while on vacation on Hoth. Your moonshine is really made on the moon. You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket. Sandpeople back down from your mama. You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI. You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent. You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac. You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid. A Wookie has told you that you need to shave. You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while lighting a cigarette with your lightsaber. You don't think the Ewoks are primitive. You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow. You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem. You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper. You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who also happens to be your brother... There is a blaster rack in the back of his landspeeder. Your master has ever asked you: "Now my finger you will pull, mmmmmm?" The Rancor monster refused to eat you. . .twice. You wore burlap even before you started your Jedi training. Your favorite meals on Dagoba incorporate native snakes. You have fuzzy dice hanging in the cockpit of your X-Wing. You've asked an Ewok to help you go coon hunting. You bought hanging air fresheners for your friend's X-Wing at Christmas time. You use the "O" on stop signs to sight in your new blaster. You call the Emporer "That old ugly dude in the house coat." Your favorite bar caters primarily to smugglers and bounty hunters. You think that Jabba the Hutt really knows how to pick up good looking chicks. You've got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle. Your initiation into the Rebellion required parallel parking the Millenium Falcon. You've ever given someone a wedgie by using the force. You're flying a ship that has no original parts. Parts of a TIE fighter you blew up hang as a trophy in your living room. The cake at your wedding was sliced with a light saber. You own a pink flamingo with blaster holes in it. You didn't read the whole Jedi manual because there were no pictures. You've used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon. You've moved from planet to planet to avoid Imperial storm troopers. Your beer belly puts Jabba the Hutt to shame. The smell of ham or bacon reminds you of Jabba's Gamorean guards. Your best practical joke was sticking a banana in Boba Fett's tail pipe. You have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder. You feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel cause he looks like a little sissy in that vest. In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain't right." You went to Jedi junior high school with a guy who looked like Yoda. Ok, it had to happen, the first set of jokes... You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
