Camping season is upon us, so I thought these tips were timely...[David Fry] === === === === === === *When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. *Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants. *Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire. *When smoking a fish, never inhale. *A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes. *While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle. *Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience. *Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match. *You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass. *You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese. *When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on. *You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car. === === === === === === -- Pardon my spam deterrent; send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] Cheers, Steve Henning in Reading, PA USA http://www.users.fast.net/~shenning
