> > Inspiring thoughts for the day . . . > > > > > > Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? > > > > > > Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should > > not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, > > then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is > > why I would not live forever." > > -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest > > > > > > > > "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving > > kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be > > skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." > > -- Mariah Carey > > > > > > > > "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces > > some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. > > The researchers also discovered other similarities between > > the two, but can't remember what they are." > > -- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22 > > > > > > "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to > > comply with the law." > > -- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, > > answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. > > > > > > "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very > > important part of your life." > > -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become > > spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign > > > > > > "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part > > of my body." > > -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward > > > > > > "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the > > lowest crime rates in the country." > > -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C. > > > > > > "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." > > -- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks > > > > > > "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through > > our papers. We are the president." > > -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of > > subpoenaed documents > > > > > > "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." > > -- Former French President Charles De Gaulle > > > > > > "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to > > death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." > > -- A congressional candidate in Texas > > > > > > "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great > > country away from them. There were great numbers > > of people who needed new land, and the Indians > > were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." > > -- John Wayne > > > > > > "Half this game is ninety percent mental." > > -- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark > > > > > > "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. > > It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." > > -- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle > > > > > > "Without censorship, things can get terribly > > confused in the public mind." > > -- General William Westmoreland > > > > > > "If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and > > butter will be cut right out from under your feet." > > -- Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin > > > > > > "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." > > -- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle > > > > > > "The private enterprise system indicates that some > > people have higher incomes than others." > > --Gerry Brown > > > > > > "It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds > > could go one way or another." > > --George Bush, US President > > > > > > > > "I have opinions of my own -strong opinions- but I > > don't always agree with them." > > --George Bush, US President > > > > > > "Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with > > either hand." > > --Duffy Daugherty, football coach and sports analyst > > > > > > "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much > > clean air do we need?" > > --Lee Iacocca > > > > > > "Please provide the date of your death." > > --from an IRS letter > > > > > > "I was under medication when I made the decision to > > burn the tapes." > > --Richard Nixon, US President > > > > > > "I was provided with additional input that was > > radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that > > version." > > --Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony > > > > > > "We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has > > been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short > > holiday to recover." > > --Parish Magazine > > > > > > "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all > > season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." > > --Bill Peterson, football coach > > > > > > "Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It > > is a state that is by itself. It is different from the other 49 states. > > Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique > > situation." > > --Dan Quayle, US VP > > > > > > "Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it." > > --Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad > > at a restaurant > > > > > > "We are not without accomplishment. We have managed > > to distribute poverty equally." > > --Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister > > > > > > "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A > > genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." > > --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and > > sports analyst > > > > > > "Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything." > > --Ivana Trump, upon finishing her first novel > > > > > > "I've read about foreign policy and studied-I > > know the number of continents." > > --George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign > > > > > > "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply > > exclude certain types of people." > > --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor > > > > > > "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." > > --Dan Quayle > > > > > > "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or > > may not occur." > > --Dan Quayle > > > > > > "Potatoe" > > --Dan Quayle > > > > > > "The road of good intentions is paved with Hell." > > --Spencer Ante > > > > > > "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come > > from overseas." > > --Keppel Enderbery > > > > > > "The loss of life will be irreplaceable." > > --Dan Quayle > > > > > > "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the > > only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder > > in school so I could converse with those people." > > --Dan Quayle > > > > > > "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to > > have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." > > --Dan Quayle > > > > > > "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..." > > --Dan Quayle > > > > > > "The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being > > compatible with being a woman." > > --Rear Admiral James R. Hogg > > > > > > "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." > > --Dan Quayle > > > > > > "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March > > 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. > > May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change > > in your circumstances." > > --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina > > > > > > "We apologize for the error in last week's paper in > > which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective > > in the police force. We meant, of course, that > > Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce." > > --Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper > > > > > > "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this > > jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart > > throughout the night. > > And the next morning, when they wake up dead, > > there'll be a record." > > --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman > > > > > > "Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly." > > --Batman Costume warning label > > > > > > > > Little Danny Q. wins the "Foot in Mouth" shoe statue award > > for the most quotes nobody else wants to make. > > > > > > > > > > > > > _______ To unsubscribe, send "unsubscribe rangernet" to [EMAIL PROTECTED] "Eat the hay & spit out the sticks! - A#1's mule" RTKB&G4JC! http://rangernet.org Autoresponder: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
